A Childhood Tale Of Pokémon Heartbreak

A Childhood Tale Of Pokémon Heartbreak
To sign up for our daily newsletter covering the latest news, features and reviews, head HERE. For a running feed of all our stories, follow us on Twitter HERE. Or you can bookmark the Kotaku Australia homepage to visit whenever you need a news fix.

Video: This is a story about losing your innocence, and getting your heart torn out in the worst kind of way. Also, Pokémon.

Once upon a time, there was a contest held by Blockbuster — you know, the old video rental company? The rules were simple. Entrants take the best picture they can manage in Pokémon Snap, they print them out, and they send them to Nintendo. Best picture wins a safari trip in Australia. siractionslacks, being a huge Pokémon nerd, entered the hell out of that contest. But he never expected it to turn out in the way that it did:

Uploaded by: moonducktv.

All I can say is:


    • Summary: Guy submits picture of Mew but turns out 4 other people also sent in Mew pics. Nintendo asks him to write an essay on his love for Pokemon. Guy writes his magnum opus on Pokemon and asks his dad to post it for him. Results come out and he didn’t win, website says “Essay not received”. Discovers dad never posted it and asks why. Dad: You weren’t going to win.

    • Siractionslacks hears about Blockbuster held Pokemon Snap competition.
      Spending a considerable amount of time and effort he takes the difficult and coveted picture of Mew facing the camera. He goes to Blockbuster to get that picture printed on a sticker and sends off his entry to Nintendo.

      Some tense weeks pass and Siractionslacks receives a letter from Nintendo of America. Nintendo tells him that he has achieved the highest possible score in Pokemon Snap. However, four other children did the same and a tie breaker must occur. This involves writing an essay about how much they love Pokemon and what they’d do if they were on Pokemon Island.

      Once again, spending a considerable amount of time and effort, Siractionslacks writes his opus magnum. He hands the essay to his father, who works nexts to the post office, with clear mailing instructions. Weeks go by as a young Siractionslacks diligently checks the Pokemon Snap website. About a month passes and finally results are posted. However by his name, Siractionslacks reads “did not submit essay”.

      Upon the revelation, he runs to his father’s room. His father isn’t there, but he searches through his drawers and finds the unmailed essay. With fervor, Siractionslacks seeks out his father and confronts him, “why didn’t you mail my essay father?!”
      His father looks at him an replies “you weren’t going to win.”

  • So Australia is like Pokemon island because of all the dangerous animals you could catch (or be caught by)? Is that the reasoning? Why Australia?

      • Saw a Redback today, made my day, they’re bloody beautiful (so long as they’re not biting you). While I think that foreign countries tend to exaggerate how dangerous Australia is I can still understand why we have the reputation.

        • I think most of the exaggeration comes from us…every tourist leaves the country shit scared of drop bears.

Show more comments

Comments are closed.

Log in to comment on this story!