Top 5 Lines From The X-Files Video Game Episode

Top 5 Lines From The X-Files Video Game Episode
To sign up for our daily newsletter covering the latest news, features and reviews, head HERE. For a running feed of all our stories, follow us on Twitter HERE. Or you can bookmark the Kotaku Australia homepage to visit whenever you need a news fix.

Like many of you, I’ve been making my way through The X-Files over the last several months in anticipation of the new six-episode revival later this month. And this week I came upon an episode in season 7 written by acclaimed author William Gibson, “First Person Shooter,” about a VR video game. It might be the best episode of the whole series.

The episode introduces a game called FPS that’s basically PvE lazer tag, but there’s a character inside, a “voluptious vixen” as Scully calls her, who somehow is able to cut off people’s heads despite having no physical presence. Also it’s got that part pictured above where Mulder is holding a sword in an Old West environment.

It’s brilliant, a work of genius. And I’m going to share my favourite parts with you right now. So here we go, the top five best lines in the X-Files video game episode.


At the beginning of the show three #truegamers are all hootin’ and hollerin’ and jumping around and saying things like “I’m a death machine” as they get ready to shoot digital enemies. I’m exactly like this when I’m booting up Destiny or Call of Duty.


You know, for kids


No one will ever forget what they were doing when they found out there’s no rez images on interior game spaces.


This incisive bit of social commentary hit me really hard.


This makes perfect sense to me.


  • This ep or Kill Switch. It’s totally conceivable to transfer your consciousness into a computer. Let’s just say X Files writers in the 90s didn’t understand technology at all and should’ve stuck with the more paranormal side of things

    • Kill switch was great, it out “lawnmower manned” lawnmower man. And scully got to matrix some nurses.

      Not the best “trapped in a virtual world you confuse for reality” though, that honour goes to the one with the sentient giant fungus. THAT episode was amazing, and it taught me that the largest living organisms are in fact fungi.

      The more you know.

  • I’ll excuse the hilarious n00bness of this show since it pre-dates the term, but I can’t forgive modern shows like csi cyber (or whatever that patricia arquette fuelled train wreck is called).

    Also, every comedy episode of xfiles is gold, and this one took shots at brogamers before that was even a thing. It’s prescient in all of the ways that really good scifi is.

    But the body swap episodes with Morris were the best, like the episodes of angel where boreanaz was let off the acting leash as angelus.

    Actually very similar actors, right down to the sex addiction!

    Edit: Oh God, and the episode where they walked onto the set of the movie being made about themselves, with Gary shandling playing Mulder. So meta.

    • Hit the nail on the head. The XFiles was calling everything out before other shows were, often a decade ahead of time. The Meta episode was brilliant, when Stargate did the same thing with Wormhole Extreme, I had flashbacks of the XFiles ep and had to look it up. Fantastic ep!

      • Or the Supernatural episode where Balthazar sent the characters to an alternate universe where they where they were actors in a TV show called Supernatural….

        Sam Winchester: I’m just saying we – we’ve landed in some dimension where you’re Jensen Ackles, and I’m something called a “Jared Padalecki.”
        Dean Winchester: So what, now you’re Polish? Is any of this make any sense to you?

        Sam Winchester: [to Robert Singer] Wait, you’re kidding. So, the character in the show, Bobby Singer…
        Dean Winchester: What kind of douchebag names a character after himself?
        Sam Winchester: Oh, that’s not right.

  • No one will ever forget what they were doing when they found out there’s no rez images on interior game spaces.

    My head hurts… make it stop…. MAKE IT STOP!

  • I remember playing the old x-files game years and years ago. The game confused me so much, loved the TV show back then, but the game was just ….’What is happening’ (might you I think I was about 15 at the time.

    • I loved that game. All 7 CD-ROMs worth of live action video of it. Can’t attest that the plot was super coherent though. I think I had the most fun shining my flashlight in people’s faces and getting my gun out at inappropriate times. There were some funny reactions when you started acting like an idiot.

  • I picked up the X Files box set last week. I’m looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. There are large chunks of the latter seasons I haven’t seen as I stopped watching and only came back for the end. Should be interesting 😉

  • Haha, I couldn’t even enjoy this one in a so bad it’s good way.

    In my last watch through of the series a few years ago I stopped at series 6 but instead of watching the season 6 finale watched the Closure double ep from series 7 in its place. Seemed a much better way to close out the show. This time because of the revival I’m trudging on through to the bitter end. 9 is a real slog, taken me about 2 months to get though it, every time I hear the word supersoldiers I want to throw something at the screen..

  • I too am rewatching ahead of the new (mini) series (half way through season 8); this would have to be the worst episode I’ve seen so far imo.

  • I’ve never watched X Files. I did watch The Lone Gunmen back in the day, though, so I reckon I’ve got the gist of it.

Show more comments

Comments are closed.

Log in to comment on this story!