"You know all those times your parents said video games would get you nowhere? They were right." Last week, I spoke with the creator of the Shittalk Generator, a crowdsourced effort to create sick (read: actually decent) burns that can be automatically queued up in games like Counter-Strike, DOTA 2 and Team Fortress 2. I've been keeping an eye on it ever since, and I have to say, people have cooked up some pretty wicked insults. Here are my favourites:
- "Team Fortress 2 is also Free-To-Uninstall."
- "If the body is 70% water how are you 100% salt???"
- "Don't worry guys, I'm a garbage collector. I'm used to carrying trash."
- "You have worse map awareness than Christopher fucking Columbus."
- "Are you aiming for a pacifist playthrough?"
- "I bet you're that guy that dies in the tutorial."
- "Your kills are like all Valve franchises, stuck at 2."
- "Your aim is so poor Bono is holding a charity concert for it."
- "95% of lag occurs between the player and the computer"
- "You should let your chair play, at least it knows how to support."
- "You camp more than Bear Grylls."
There are also some gravely bad ones, but that goes with the territory of letting anybody submit stuff. As ever, a reminder: shit-talking people you're playing with/against can be super fun, but if they're not on board with it (that is to say, giving as good as they get/obviously having a decent time), don't be a dick. Or, as Shittalk Generator creator Davis Ford said to me:
"Shittalking ends when it gets personal. That tends to happen in tight-knit competitive communities; people call each other fat, ugly, whatever. That's no fun. I'd rather have you describe my butthole as a gaping cavern that squirrels nest in, you know? Something light-hearted."
Image credit: Getty.