"Emoticons are unavailable," the mobile version of Final Fantasy IX tells you when you name a new character. WELL, WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT. Meet one of Alexandria's finest soldiers, Captain :(.
When you've played an RPG like Final Fantasy IX over and over again more times than you can count, sometimes you've just gotta spice things up. Also, in case you're wondering, the iOS version is pretty good!