And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Following news that the recreation of Donald Drumpf's Florida mansion in virtual playground Second Life was owned by an anime schoolgirl, I decided to take a tour. It was lovely, until I was forcibly ejected by security.

Just when I thought I'd gotten Second Life out of my system, Drumpf drags me right back in. Driven by curiosity I logged into my old character, strapped on the requisite ears, tail and strawberry backpack and took a stroll through proof that Drumpf's influence extends beyond the physical realm. Follow along in the video above, or read along below.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

While concern over griefers has caused mansion owner JP Laszlo to set the house proper to private, a fact I overlooked until it was too late and I was booted miles into the sky, there's plenty of Drumpf-flavored goodness to sample on the grounds. Despite my ears and tail the gates swung open freely, allowing me access to an exact replica of the real-world mystical portal that transports Drumpf supporters to his rallies.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

The portal transported me to the recreation of a school gymnasium, where a Donald Drumpf cutout soundlessly shouted at row upon row of empty chairs. Or maybe he was shouting directly at me.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

The cutout was only textured from the front. Walking behind it caused it to disappear, as if Drumpf only existed in one dimension.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Once I was finished behind shouted at I wandered out of the gymnasium, where I encountered the Trumpmobile.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

No matter how much I poked and prodded, the car refused to transform into a giant Donald Drumpf robot. If we're not going to use Second Life to its full potential, what's the point?

I hopped the fence back into the main compound and entered through the back door. I was so caught up in the majesty of the mansion that I did not notice the security pop-up, warning me I had 30 seconds to vacate the premises before being forcibly ejected.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

I got as far as the spacious living room, with its gorgeous deer trophy and wall-mounted firearms before I was whisked into the sky.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Teleporting trespassers into the upper atmosphere is an incredibly effective means of keeping unwanted elements out of your home. Of course in real life said trespassers wouldn't survive the landing, but I can't argue with results.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Upon poofing back to the front of the mansion I discovered a network of yellow lines surrounding the property. For entering the mansion, ignoring the warning and possibly stealing fizzy lifting drink, I no longer had access to any of the rides at Trumpland.

But I still had camera control. Not even an impenetrable striped barrier could take the ability to pan and zoom away from me.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Books and alcohol seem to be a theme in the Second Life Drumpf Mansion. Here a copy of Wuthering Heights overlooks a well-stocked bar.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Here is the reading room, complete with more books and more booze.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Drumpf's desk features a pair of photos of his family, if his family were a generic male avatar and what looks to be a woman wearing a Jungle Voodoo cheetah skin.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

This is where the magic happens. Dark and terrible magic.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Finally we have the amazing kitchen, where many a Drumpf Steak has been prepared. Panning my camera inside the refrigerator revealed a healthy mixed of fruits and vegetables.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

Having grabbed all of the footage I wanted, I teleported about the virtual world a bit, searching for other presidential campaign related areas.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

This is my new desktop wallpaper.

The only other dedicated area I could find was for Bernie Sanders, consisting of an open area covered with meme pics. Every podium had a bird on it. It was not obnoxious at all.

And Then I Got Banned From Donald Trump's Second Life Mansion

I revisited the Drumpf Mansion a day or so later, and my ban had been reset, though the house itself remains off limits. It's a real shame to build something so beautiful and not let people inside.

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Comments

    Seems this post is itself a Dark Souls boss.

    Ah Mondays :D

    What's with the Drumpf instead of Trump? Seems kind of bigoted to pick on someone's great grand fathers last name and use it as a thinly vieled insult.

    Is this the kind of journalism you want to attach yourself to Mike? Hell, I bet you Fahey was anglonised at some point.

    Last edited 11/04/16 12:02 pm

      "Seems kind of bigoted..."
      Well, yeah, but it's also kinda bigoted to refer to an entire race as rapists, but uhhh, yeah bro, whatever floats yo' boat ;)

      While I'm sure some people use as an insult... it's a straightforward way of highlighting the fact that he's an anti-immigrant who's the grandparents (+ mother) were immigrants.

      Considering the way he uses diminutives against his opponents (eg. 'Little' Marco Rubio, 'Lyin'' Ted Cruz) it seems reasonable to respond in kind. If he wanted to be treated better he should have treated his opponents better.

      It's most likely in reference to a John Oliver segment (which you'd be able to view at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnpO_RTSNmQ if it wasn't geoblocked as part of an agreement with Foxtel).

      When you've got a candidate who is proposing many xenophobic anti-immigration policies, it is kind of amusing to remember that he also comes from an immigrant family.

        www.proxfree.com for content that you can't quite view.

        And to hell with Foxtel.

      In Trump's case? Seriously? The guy's a fucking wanker.
      I suppose you're right though, open insults are more appropriate.

      So it's OK for Donald Trump to do that but it's not OK for people to do it to him?

      Treat people as you wish to be treated, it's in that Bible book he suddenly likes so much.

        Bigotry doesn't excuse bigotry, it just makes you the same as Trump.

          Honestly I think people are only doing it because he hid it, not because they hate whatever ethnicity that Drumpf would be.

            White privileged male?

              He's Orange, people aren't supposed to be Orange. If anything he's an Ooompa Loompa.

              The last person to have the Drumpf name was probably White and Male, unsure about privileged.

      It's a bit beyond what others have said, he once attacked John Stewart because he had changed his name and insinuated it was either because he was ashamed of his Jewish heritage or hiding it.

      Much later Jon Oliver found his old family name and suggesting he take some of his own medicine publicised it and suggested people use it.

      It's not like Drumph is an insult, it just sounds kind of funny and works as a codified way of suggesting you don't really buy what he's selling.

    Well Yeh he was hammering one candidate because his family had changed his name, so after some digging it was found his family had done the same, and the delicious result was drumpf. The guys an ass, come on.

    You appear to one of those guys that like to play as an attractive lady character.

    I've never gotten that. I don't even like playing as an attractive male character.

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