This Is Windows Solitaire In 2016

Video: Welcome to tonight's instalment of "Game Ads For Dads". Actually, Granddads might be closer to the mark here. Good on Microsoft for trying to explain all this shit in a uniquely (for video games) clear and concise way, but the fact that this promo takes two minutes to explain what's going on — or needs explaining at all — is a sign of everything terrible about Microsoft's platform and accounts branding.

At the risk of sounding like a granddad myself, things were better when they were simpler.


    Can someone pass me a plunger? I cringed so hard my face is stuck.

      I'm stupider for having watched that, and I bailed half way through. God help those who stayed the whole 2 minutes.

        58 seconds for me. :( I went in thinking I could be strong and survive the whole two minutes but I was wrong. I am weak.

          I thought, if this schmoe can last 58 seconds, I can do better. 41 seconds...I underestimated the severity of the advertorial cheese.

          34 for me and I'm out. You are the true king

    >A week of free Microsoft Solitaire premium!

    Since when is '100% free' synonymous 'free trial'?
    The ad also made me go hysterical. I stopped after that line.

    The cheesiness of the acting reminds me of Resident Evil 1..... at least it made me laugh! haha

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