When You’re A Regular Guy, But You Can Also Fight Like A Witcher

When You’re A Regular Guy, But You Can Also Fight Like A Witcher

This is Alan Padziński. Actual human being, but also master of the various sword styles of The Witcher universe.


We’ve seen Alan’s work before, but I thought this new clip was also worth sharing, if only for the comparison montage there at the end.


  • Not to state the obvious, but it’d be so f*cking sketchy to fight that guy in a sword fight.

    He doesn’t look that hard to stab because his body doesn’t actually move much and he’s not exactly trying to gauge distance…. but he’s swinging with so much momentum that you’d stick him in the ribs and get chopped in half doing it.

    As a fun side note: I got talked into doing a medieval sword fighting “class” once (I think the teacher was accredited only in the arts of having a ponytail, not getting laid and generally being a guy who’d get his ass kicked at stuff)…. It was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done. It was essentially a bunch of man-children (mostly late teens/early 20’s) having children’s sword fights but more dangerous.

    Some guy hit me really hard in the chest with a pole-arm of some sort (literally a pole about 6fit long and three 2-3inches wide) while I wasn’t paying attention and almost broke my sternum (I was wearing a Mr Bungle t-shirt that offered +1 to defence, he was wearing a chain mail), I mean it really could have killed me if I’d had any kind of heart issue, it hurt whenever I took a deep breath for about a month.

    I’ve done an assortment of combat sports over the years and occasionally people who were FAR better than me have beaten me up way worse than they really should have- but nothing ever made me as mad as some nerd recklessly hitting me with a huge stick. It was ridiculous.

    • Ask any professional fighter they will tell you that pretending to fight (and making it look real) or fighting but holding back from injury is extremely hard… as for the man-child assaulter well those guys are a class of their own.

      • Sparring in martial arts without killing the other guy shouldn’t be hard though. Just start off slow and work to an intensity that you’re both comfortable with, if the other guy looks hurt, is getting hit a lot or isn’t trying to escalate the intensity then you just kinda sit at that level.
        You’ll still get hurt, but you shouldn’t be spending a prolonged period on the sidelines as a direct result of an injury that was inflicted upon you.

        As for staged fighting, I really don’t know but I do imagine it carries a higher risk of getting “accidently” nailed through no fault of your own. It was never entirely clear to me at the sword fighting “class” whether the point was to win or to make it looked showy but it was certainly being presented as a competition. They were doing groups (about 5 vs 5) and essentially working off the concept that if someone got “hit” that they were out. It was a stupid, dangerous and generally a retarded thing to be doing.

        I feel like I should have called their Mums to come and put a stop to it.

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