In the same week that we were given the news of a Tetris trilogy, we are also cursed with the knowledge that a Fruit Ninja movie is in development. Yes, that is the game where you slice fruit in half for as long as you can.
Image: Fruit Ninja, Halfbrick Studios
Tripp Vinson (San Andreas) is producing the film, while JP Lavin and Chad Damiani (How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack) are writing the script. What kind of script can you give Fruit Ninja, you ask? A live-action family comedy, of course!
Oh man, is it going to be about a family inexplicably trapped in a home that’s being attacked by vindictive fruit? I bet it is. And I bet the family learns a valuable lesson about loving each other through lessons in wielding swords against the fruit.
Fruit Ninja isn’t a game with a plot. What on Earth is there to adapt? Video game-based movies haven’t exactly lit the world on fire with their quality or their box office. This isn’t “so bad it’s funny” territory any more. It’s just “so mediocre it’s frustrating”.
Comments
4 responses to “We Live In A World That Is Making A Fruit Ninja Movie”
Fruit Ninja is actually far more amenable to a movie than Tetris if you give it to the right people. One possible idea is a more family friendly Killer Tomatoes style movie in which fruit is out for revenge and the only one that can stop them are the clan of Fruit Ninjas, long thought to have disappeared. Give it to a competent film studio and you have a fun movie.
Alternately you could have a more realistic type setting in which a restaurateur struggles to open a restaurant and seeing the performance artistry displayed by Teppanyaki chefs they become inspired to open a juice bar called The Fruit Ninja in which they cut fruit in the air as entertainment and as part of their preparation.
Not holding my breath for anything good to come of it though.
Anthropomorphic food hijinks here:
Sausage Party: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VoNgLnjzVg
This could be fun if taken “too far”; so far it in to the ridiculous that it become hilarious. classic examples would be the two movies by Yahoo Serious.
In a world that has given us not one, not two, not three, but now FOUR Sharknado movies, are you actually surprised by this news?