Giant eyes? Spiky hair? Dudes who fight each other while soaring through the air? Anime is used to ignoring reality, but most especially in its fashion sense. Countless characters have outfits you couldn’t make in real life without cheating, anti-gravity, or a wish-granting genie. Here are a mere dozen of them.
1) Ryuko, Kill La Kill
To be fair, the absurd outfits of Kill La Kill were designed to be absurd. That, obviously, doesn’t make them any less absurd, but at least they realised it. Ryuko’s schoolgirl uniform “Senketsu” transforms into the above outfit for battle; you’ll notice the suspenders are connected directly to Ryuko’s meager panties. Even presuming that Ryuko wasn’t fazed the atomic wedgie she’s receiving, there’s no way the suspenders can be holding up her breasts unless they were glued to her — and as anyone who’s watched Kill La Kill knows, that is patently not the case.
2) Orochimaru, Naruto
Please ignore the dude on the bed and concentrate on Orochimaru, the villain looming over him. Or, more precisely, concentrate on the giant purple rope tied around his waist and somehow formed into an upside-down bow on his backside. Assuming the rope is made out of actual rope, there’s no way the weight of it would stay up on the slim-hipped Orochimaru. And no physics in the world would allow it to be tied into a ribbon like that, at least not without jutting out a full foot or so from the small of his back. And he especially couldn’t sit comfortably wearing that nonsense, although he frequently does. Maybe it’s ninja magic?
3) Miu, History’s Strongest Disciple Kenichi
Although primarily a fighting series, the second goal of History’s Strongest Disciple Kenichi is to show teenage boys the greatest amount of boobs possible without becoming fully pornographic. So all the busty ladies of Kenichi wear improbably skin-tight clothing that is destroyed at the mildest provocation. What makes this so absurd is that no matter how much these clothes are destroyed — or even if pieces are no longer connected to anything — they are still 100% skin tight, as you can see in the above picture. You would literally have to glue a bikini on to achieve this effect, and then it probably wouldn’t have been shredded in the frst place. Still, at least Miu is wearing clothes…
4) Kraehe, Princess Tutu
In the same vein, I think it’s safe to say that Kraehe has glued two black neckties to her breasts.
5) Zero, Code Geass
Sorry, Code Geass. Either Zero has a high-collared cape that’s so starched that it can stand upright and is completely immobile or it’s regular fabric that can billow in the wind. You cannot either have the giant, gravity-defying collar or your can have the ridiculous cape that makes Thor’s cape look realistic. You cannot have both.
6) Pretty Much Any Girl from Strike Witches
Trying to explain the plot of Strike Witches is an exercise in futility, but suffice it to say humanity’s last hope are a bunch of magic girls with World War II plane parts stuck on their legs. Somehow magic is involved, so the girls’ legs don’t snap and the jets tear its wearer apart like a wishbone, but in reality, we have physics, so the jets would totally snap its wearer’s legs and then tear them apart like a wishbone.
7) Charlotte Chuhihourne, Bleach
To be honest, this list could have consisted entirely of characters from Bleach. Still, Charlotte here very possibly has the most ludicrous outfit in the series. It’s not the design that’s impossible — although it’s improbable to say the least — it’s how the dress and half-cape billow out in every single direction as if Charlotte himself were the one generating the wind.
8) Ezra, Fairy Tale
This is armour. It’s made out of metal. Although the problems with “boob-plate” armour have been discussed elsewhere, we all know that the power of the uterus make Ezra’s armour impenetrable, despite the copious midriff and décolletage it reveals. However, I have may doubts that even the mighty uterus can allow Ezra to carry 181kg. of sculpted metal on her back.
9) Nine-Tails Chakra Mode Naruto, Naruto
So I’m pretty sure Naruto is just continually on fire in this outfit. Good luck pulling that one off, cosplayers.
10) Abel, Trinity Blood
There’s so much bizarre stuff going on in the priestly outfit worn by Trinity Blood‘s vampiric priest-soldier it’s actually hard to tell which part is breaking the fundamental laws of reality. The golden half collar levitating in front of his neck? The inexplicable buckles on the side of his cape? If nothing else, you can rest assured that only a deity could create collars so enormous and bizarrely wide that you could actually set your beverages on them.
11) Harribel, Bleach
Bleach is a treasure trove of improbable and impossible fashions, but Harribel gets a special mention for… basically punching the laws of gravity in the face. Her jacket provides absolutely no support whatsoever — it’s like a bra from the Mirror Universe — and yet still keeps her gigantic breasts perky and squished together. The only way this thing is even conceivable is if Harribel received breast implants full of helium.
12) Kira, Gundam Seed
OK, wearing a jacket whose sleeves are connected with their own suspenders isn’t technically against the law of physics. But don’t you think it should be? Even if just on principle?