I've Been Dreaming About Unirally

Sometimes, I dream about video games. Usually I dream about video games that haven’t been released yet, inside some warped future reality.

But the other night I had a different kind of dream. I was playing a video game that doesn’t exist.

A game that really should exist.

Who remembers Unirally?

Unirally was a real paradox: a game so simple you could pick up and play easily; a game so unique it defies easy definition. Put literally, Unirally was a game where you guide riderless unicycles around insane, winding tracks -- but really it was a game about harnessing speed, about pushing your ability to feel comfortable at those speeds.

It was a game about doing fully sick stunts bro. Fully.

Unirally, without question, was fully sick.

In Unirally your ability to go stupidly fast was governed by your ability to perform ridiculously complex tricks, your ability to continue taking risks at high speed by performing increasingly difficult tricks. It was a game where milliseconds count. It was compelling as hell.

Now, back to that dream I was having, about the video game that doesn’t exist.

I was playing a sequel to Unirally. A sequel that, for some ungodly reason, still doesn’t exist.

It was in virtual reality. I can’t explain why. It was clean and hi-res. It was 60 frames-per-second smooth. It had online leaderboards that allowed me to watch speed runs I couldn’t possibly compete with. It had a separate leaderboard featuring my friend’s best times so I could compete with those. It had little Unirally ghosts. It had a camera that started in tight, but zoomed out the faster I went. The sense of speed was otherworldly.

It was lean, clean and mean. The controls hadn’t changed much, just a little more tactile. A few more tricks to perform, a few more possibilities. It was a game built for human performance, for Twitch streams and YouTube highlight videos, for PewDiePie screaming at a frequency beyond human comprehension. A game that made you punch walls. A game that made dogs bark.

It was a simple game, not full price. Not in 2016. I bought this game for $15 on Steam, on Xbox Live. It came free this month on PlayStation Plus. It came out in April. A dead zone for big titles, it had found its niche.

It was beautiful.

Then I woke up.

I woke up and I asked myself, ‘why does this game not exist? Why are we living in the year of our lord 2016 without a sequel to Unirally?’ It makes no goddamn sense.

Unirally ticks every box I can possibly imagine.

We currently have a tremendous base of people, now in their late 20s and 30s who remember this game fondly. They have money to burn and a childhood they want to return to. They have nostalgia. They want to drown in this nostalgia.

We have digital platforms that are perfect for a game like Unirally. We have the PlayStation Network, we have Xbox LIVE. We have Steam.

The audience is there, the delivery method is there. All we need is the game itself.

Someone needs to make that last part happen.


Comments

    Alright I am cancelling today, I read that as Urinally

    Am dead, need sleeps, plz send help

    I dreamed about Micro Machines. Damn that was a good game.

      Toybox Turbos on Steam is Micro Machines in all but name, pretty sure some of the original devs were involved too.

        yeah but rubbish. ive got it, wish i didnt get it. Mashed is a way better game then toybox turbos. and Micro Machine T2 Turbo Tournament trumps Toybox turbos too.

          Really? I quite enjoyed Toybox Turbos with friends. Mashed it pretty good too but I don't think it has online play, at least it didn't last time I checked.

    I remember playing this in the children's play area at The Royal in Adelaide back in the 90s. They had kiosks so the restaurant area was a big hit with families.

    I never owned it, but managed to get a copy of it on ebay.

    It's truly a great game.

    Apparently there was that Excitebots game that never got released here, for Wii? I heard talk of that being a spiritual successor?

    Last edited 03/06/16 10:29 am

    I'm so glad that others out there remember Uni-rally. Such an awesome game. I would be wary of a modern reboot though. The game was so simple yet satisfying. I would be worried that a developer would turn it into something silly like a sandbox game with microtransactions.

    Last edited 03/06/16 10:33 am

    You have reminded me of a game I had literally forgotten about for 20 years.

    How the hell did you remember?

    Anyone else think that the bike seat in the lead pic looks a little... suggestive? Or have I just been spending too much time on the internet?

    (As for the game, never heard of it before this. Sounds like a skill game that Serrels would no doubt enjoy)

    I loved this game so much. One of my favourite games from the snes.

    @markserrels Do you even Trials, bro? It's basically the same thing.

      its really not.

        I find that the early and midrange levels are remarkably similar. Looking for a flow to build up max speed, looping around all over the place, flipping in the air both by necessity and for the hell of it, and now with multiplayer that offers all this in a competitive situation.

        Once you get to the extreme tracks, though, I agree that it's a whole different beast.

        Last edited 03/06/16 5:13 pm

    This reminds me of line rider

    Loved it. Got insanely good at it, too. Sick biznasty pirouettes. Good times.

    did they used to play this on A*mazing? I'm not sure if I'm imagining it or not.

      They did yes.
      Also easy to remember it when its in my snes right now ^^

    I was at pub trivia on Tuesday a man had chained up his unicycle to the stair rails. I was speechless.

    @markserrels I believe that pixar got the game pulled for copyright infringement. DMA couldn't produce any more copies. So a sequel is highly unlikely. Sad face.

    Yep, I remember it. I actually have a copy so might give it a spin over the weekend. Might even get my 6 year old daughter to have a go. I'm sure she'll enjoy it for at least 5 minutes!
    DMA: doesn't mean anything.

    Whenever I talk about this game I get such blank looks. Only my brother and I within our group remember it :(

    I adored this game so very very much & want to see it on the VC on either Wii U or 3DS.

    Used to play it a lot usually against my best mate (who also owned it) or my younger brother.

    When I played solo I often had Beethoven's 9th Symphony blaring along with it & the two matched really well.

    BRING IT BACK!!

    I was just thinking about this game today! I sunk hours into it as a kid. So many races came down to the line, when you overtook your competitor, the seat/head of the unicycle would animate to watch the other one go by.

    Sadly I never owned a SNES growing up (was a MegaDrive kid) but BY GOD do I remember this. A friend of mine had it on his SNES and although I only ever got to see them every now and then I played the shit out of it when I got the chance. They could never beat me despite only getting the chance to play it once every couple of months.

    I just installed RetroPie on my RPi3...hmm...shame old games dont have the same feel on an LCD as they do on a nice big CRT

    i used to love this game but it could be so frustrating at times. you could lose by milliseconds. drove me nuts. i managed to smashed a snes controller on the tiles after losing the same race many times by so little. good times haha

    I literally have the Unirally cartridge sitting next to me, along with the original SNES to play it on. I played Unirally a hell of a lot back then and I still play it occasionally now too.

    We're never gonna get the "golden age of gaming" back, are we?

Join the discussion!