Liveblogging the Microsoft E3 press conference. In 2016? You're goddamn right. It's 2.15am and I have a nice warm cup of green tea. I am wearing a bathrobe with my name on it and a pair of ugg boots and I am RARING TO GO!
What are you hoping to see?
I'm hoping to see more hardware stuff. The new Xbox in action, Hololens maybe? Possibly some Oculus Rift stuff because I have one of those now?
As for games... man I don't even know. I guess I'd like to see something cool that isn't a sequel. Some weird-ass indie stuff wouldn't go amiss.
Also -- don't forget you can watch the conference LIVE right here!
2.15 How much green tea can one human man drink? I'm going for the record. My body is throbbing in another dimension right now. How are you all feeling?
Thankfully this time I don't have children to blame.
2.25 Hey I'm hitting that SECOND WIND. It's E3! Video games! Energy bursts that last for a short period of time! Liveblogs! Crowds making whoo noises! Whooooooooo!
2.29 I waited too long and now my green tea is cold. This is the absolute worst thing ever.
2.31 Nice to see all the pressers acknowledge Orlando so far. Legit.
2.33 Okay, if any console ever needed an 'S' edition it's the Xbox One. And damn that looks slick.
I wonder what it means for it to be 'sharper'. Resolution I guess.
2.35 I guess Play Anywhere sounds pretty cool? Crossplay on both Windows and Xbox One.
2.37 Wow, Gear of War 4 feels like it looks waaaaaay nicer than before. Love the setting, love the environment.
2.40 Fuck we're taking cover behind warts now? Welcome to the REAL next-generation.
2.41 Man, I think people will be critical of Gears of War 4, but I will definitely play this video game. Good E3 style demo.
2.43 Okay Marcus is back. I guess this story is gonna be trashtown. But I don't really care. WHATEVS.
2.44 I honestly can't believe Killer Instinct is a game people play in 2016. So I'm gonna go and make another cup of tea.
2.46 Wait a fucking goddamn second. There are kangaroos in this new Forza game? HOLY SHIT MEGATON.
2.47 Okay so it's Forza Horizon 3. It's set in Australia! Hahahahahahahaha! Holy shit.
2.49 LOL this is the best. This is absolutely hilarious! "HE'S DRIVING IN THE YARRA VALLEY, GOING ON A WINE TOUR TO LOOK AT SOME WEDDING VENUES WITH HIS MATE BAZZA."
2.50 "JONNO AND ROBBO ARE ON THE HUME HIGHWAY, CRANKING IT AT 120 ON CRUISE CONTROL"
2.54 Holy crap I forgot all about Recore or whatever it's called. It looks absolutely fantastic and I cannot wait to play it. Anything made by anyone involved in Metroid Prime I will play and be excited about.
2.56 I don't know enough about FF to tell if this is something I should be super excited about. I guess it looks dynamic and stuff. But I legit have no effing idea what's going on here! They're fighting a big hand I guess. The music seems lovely. I was looking for some more handsome man road trip footage.
3.01 In-game footage. Alrighty then.
But yeah, Battlefield 1 will be good. I goddamn love World War I history, so I hope it isn't too silly. But I'm more excited about this than I usually am for Battlefield games.
3.05 This whole clubs and groups thing seems wonderfully naive as to the real experience people have online.
3.08 Okay Minecraft stuff. Forced banter incoming. Oh wait, here it is!
3.09 "MIND IF I JOIN IN!" Hey, it's game development's John Carmack! Carmack joining the party like a low-key Kramer.
3.13 I WANT ONE OF THOSE CONTROLLERS RIGHT NOW!
3.14 Proof all you need to do is write 'FROM THE CREATORS OF LIMBO' to get me excited. Cannot wait for that game.
3.16 And here comes the indie game hot minute montage! URGH. Show more of these games off properly. Come aaaaaaahn... I want to see more of this stuff.
3.23 Oh man, We Happy Few started out a bit dull, then shit got freaky real fast. Straight to the top of my most anticipated list. Looked incredible.
3.24 I goddamn love this Witcher guy already! I love you jumpy man!
3.25 Man are they making Gwent its own video game? That makes so much goddamn sense. That being said I do not understand Gwent at all. Still, jumpy man's charisma is really pushing me through this.
3.29 Wow, Tekken 7 has Street Fighter characters? That honestly looked really cool. A really slick integration of cut-scene and fighting. I loved it actually. I am so in for that and I haven't played a Tekken game for years.
3.31 This fucking guy...
— Wario64 (@Wario64) June 13, 2016
lol. Love it.
3.32 It's really starting to hit me that Microsoft's line-up is a little lacklustre.
3.36 Holy shit... it's another fight against... a BIG HAND. BIG HAND 2. The Biggening.
3.40 Damn he really took it to that big hand. It's been a great E3 for big hands.
3.42 Okay, shit yeah. Pirate game. Pirate games are super good. I need more pirate games in my life. This seems pretty damn cool. I want to see it in action por favour. Make my dreams come true rare man.
3.43 Okay holy shit this looks amazing. This is legit interesting. Best thing I've seen in this conference so far.
3.50 "Know what this conference needs? Another slow-mo trailer with a shitty slow-paced cover song."
Oh, it's Halo Wars. Snooooooze. Bring back Sea of Thieves. Holy shit that game looked great.
3.51 People are actually nostalgic for Halo Wars? I thought that game failed miserably? I just don't see the logic of a sequel to this.
3.58 Well, there you go. The rumours are true. This Project Scorpio thing is real. Is this a good idea? I have no idea. It all depends on price. It all depends on how developers react.
This beyond generations tagline is weird though. Consoles are changing I guess. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
4.00 Well, it's coming holiday 2017. Wonder if those specs will even feel super powerful then compared to high end PCs? Who knows.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE.
Thanks for joining me on the liveblog! Everyone go get some sleep! Or stay up for the PC Show and the Ubisoft conference! Holy shit, do whatever the hell you want!