Move over, Professor Sycamore. There's a new daddy in town. (NSFW warning!) Illustration: Sam Woolley
As many of you know, every Pokémon game comes with a Pokémon expert who guides you on your journey to catch 'em all. In the first generation of games/anime, we had good 'ol professor Oak:
For a while, this was more or less the standard for Pokémon professors: older, wiser and kind of dad-like.
Then Pokémon X & Y happened:
Professor Sycamore, pictured above, was not like most Pokémon professors. He looked young. He looked hip. He looked fashionable. And as weird as it is to say about a Pokémon character, Sycamore looked, well... hot. Sure enough, a horny fanbase followed online.
Pokémon Sun and Moon are entirely new games of course, which means that they come with their own region-specific Pokémon academic. And for whatever reason, Pokémon developers Game Freak decided to up the ante in the professor's design. Meet Professor Kukui:
Yes, that's a shirtless Pokémon professor. Now, arguably, you could make the case that he's shirtless for a reason: Pokémon Sun and Moon take cues from Hawaii, so the setting is probably tropical and hot. Still though. There's something pretty damn extra about perpetually showing off your abs like that, especially in a game like Pokémon.
You might even ask yourself, "What's the point of wearing a lab coat over nothing but bare skin?" There's no way the coat offers any real protection. Which leads me to believe that the point is sexiness. Certainty, that's the way most of the Pokémon fandom is parsing Kukui; many people believe that Kukui is intentionally designed to make players hot for teacher. Though Pokémon Sun and Moon aren't actually out yet, Professor Kukui is already amassing a very thirsty fandom online.
Just today, The Pokémon Company dropped new footage of Kukui, along with a few new details about him. Players are eating it up. They have been since Kukui was revealed earlier this year, really:
They are trying SO hard to flaunt him. Sycamore had the charisma, but Kukui has the bod. #PokemonSunMoon
— X-mas Tree-Tail? (@GreenAuraLizard) June 2, 2016
WHEN PROFESSOR SYCAMORE REALIZES THAT HE HAS COMPETITION WITH PROFESSOR KUKUI pic.twitter.com/wDnSzEcycv
— ✨vero✨ (@woahtherevero) June 2, 2016
Prof Kukui confirmed as first fuccboi professor as Nintendo reaches out to gay fans.
— Ribombae (@MegaTogekiss) June 2, 2016
prof kukui is daddy af
— celi ⛄❄ (@nymphaIii) June 2, 2016
Someone: hey what do you think of professor kukui
— corn prices (@ilovehanzo) June 2, 2016
cuck me kukui
— Beardoof ? (@Electivirus) June 2, 2016
professor kukui made me gay
— nova ?✨ (@denshibunny) June 2, 2016
professor kukui can fuck me up
— ? Stammi Vicino ? (@viktuurious) June 2, 2016
I WANNA BE CHOCK FULL OF KUKUI. pic.twitter.com/WuvFz52ZCd
— George Universe (@SilurianRanger) June 2, 2016
i can't wait to check rule 34 for porn of professor kukui
— ☤ (@papermassacred) June 2, 2016
One thing the fandom has latched onto is Game Freak's description of Kukui's research style. Kukui has apparently "taken direct hits from Pokémon when there was something to be learned from it". This seemingly innocuous detail has only fanned the flames, as some fans fantasise about what this could look like in action:
has kukui ever taken care of a tentacruel? just asking for a friend.
— @ Lucky☆Lucky (@RanShibukis) June 2, 2016
I can practically hear the Sycamore X Kukui Fanfics being written. Pokemon's been giving us some nice lookin profs?? pic.twitter.com/8aKDjIZypm
— Luna Powers (@lunamon97) June 2, 2016
kukui: okay machamp i need you to hit me as hard as you can with mega punch. I'll be ok its for science
— Green (@personqwer) June 2, 2016
Eagle-eyed Pokémon players also noticed that Kukui appears to wear a wedding band, and this has prompted its own series of hilarious reactions as well:
professor kukui being a married man only makes him hotter imo
— ruben ferdinand? (@urbanfriendden) June 2, 2016
PLEASE DONT LET KUKUI BE MARRIED OR ENGAGED
— @ Lucky☆Lucky (@RanShibukis) June 2, 2016
*awaits theories of why Kukui has a wedding ring and what it means for his relationship with Sycamore*
— Mimikyuletide ? (@csmith03) June 2, 2016
Naturally, the fandom has gone into overdrive in its love for Kukui, and has gone ahead to whip up some intense Pokémon fan art and Photoshops. Hell, we threw our hat into the ring with a tasteful Kukui illustration up top, courtesy of our art team's Sam Woolley.
Most images online follow suit, accentuating Kukui's abs, chest hair, and sometimes even his dick. Yeah, what follows can be considered NSFW.
— Kir (@jasdavi) May 22, 2016
i tried drawing Professor Kukui orz. emphasis on the word "tried" pic.twitter.com/cP8u4xPybW
— Professor Z (@Z9Labs) May 10, 2016
Created by: Doctor Anfelo
Mind, this is some of the tamer stuff out there. I've seen some wild shit, like professors from different generations banging each other. Nothing is sacred, because this is the internet.
The conspiracy theory floating around as a result is that Game Freak counted on this reaction though, and that they intentionally designed Kukui to get people riled up. Whatever you believe, know this: the thirst is real, and even games like Pokémon are not immune to it.