Uncharted 4: The Text Adventure

Uncharted 4 was great, but you know what would be even better: an Uncharted 4 text adventure.

Thankfully, this is a thing that exists.

The Uncharted 4 text adventure started life as this post, a parody script written by Point & Clickbait's Tim Colwill. You should read it, it's glorious. It contains glorious scenes like this:

BIG BAD EVIL GUY: I knew you’d come for your friend Sully! And thank you for bringing me the item you found in the ancient tomb!
DRAKE: Oh no! Oh no nonononono. Ohhhhh no. This is bad. It’s bad and I’m in it, which is doubly bad. Oh no no no. I HATE bad things!
BIG BAD EVIL GUY: Hand it over Drake! Or we’ll fill your bodies… with BULLETS!
DRAKE: Oh yeah? Well, I bet you didn’t count on the inevitable… SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF MONSTERS!
BIG BAD EVIL GUY: Shit!!! I didn’t!!!

You should read it. On it's own terms it's pretty damn hilarious, as is Point & Clickbait as a glorious whole.

Equally as glorious, the fact that Terrence Jarrad used the script as a base for a goddamn TEXT ADVENTURE.



You should give it a try.

And while you're at it, follow these instructions.

— Start by writing OPEN DOOR — Then CLIMB ROPE — Then LOOK AT HANDY ROCK FORMATION



Yep. I made it. I've finally made it.


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