Uncharted 4 was great, but you know what would be even better: an Uncharted 4 text adventure.
Thankfully, this is a thing that exists.
The Uncharted 4 text adventure started life as this post, a parody script written by Point & Clickbait’s Tim Colwill. You should read it, it’s glorious. It contains glorious scenes like this:
BIG BAD EVIL GUY: I knew you’d come for your friend Sully! And thank you for bringing me the item you found in the ancient tomb!
DRAKE: Oh no! Oh no nonononono. Ohhhhh no. This is bad. It’s bad and I’m in it, which is doubly bad. Oh no no no. I HATE bad things!
BIG BAD EVIL GUY: Hand it over Drake! Or we’ll fill your bodies… with BULLETS!
DRAKE: Oh yeah? Well, I bet you didn’t count on the inevitable… SUDDEN APPEARANCE OF MONSTERS!
BIG BAD EVIL GUY: Shit!!! I didn’t!!!
You should read it. On it’s own terms it’s pretty damn hilarious, as is Point & Clickbait as a glorious whole.
Equally as glorious, the fact that Terrence Jarrad used the script as a base for a goddamn TEXT ADVENTURE.
You should give it a try.
And while you’re at it, follow these instructions.
— Start by writing OPEN DOOR
— Then CLIMB ROPE
— Then LOOK AT HANDY ROCK FORMATION
Yep. I made it. I’ve finally made it.
Comments
3 responses to “Uncharted 4: The Text Adventure”
Glorious!
Is there Porridge?
Not yet. I considered it before realising the rabbit hole I was heading down. 🙂
This is amazing!
Thanks! I assume Tim also says thanks.