Hey Dazza, Have You Seen The New Forza Utes?

Hey Dazza. Mate. DAZZA?

Dazza. Have ye seen them yet? Bloody oath. They're bloody unreal mate.

It's the new Forza cars mate, for the Aussie one. Did ya know they were doing an Aussie one? Yeah. It's set in 'Straya mate. Dazza these cars, they're fucking unbelievable. You know the Sandman HQ panel van me ol' man used to knock about in? They have that one. Yeah, I think he still has it in the garage. Got some fucking sick rust on it tho bro. It still goes though mate. Still fuckin' goes ya caaannt. He told me he knocked up me ma' in this fucking unit, can you believe that?

Yeah but Dazza. Dazza. Strewth mate, this shit gets even betta mate. Nah, I know. It's real. Check this shit out brah. They have the fuckin' oldest ute. The actual first fuckin' ute. I didn't even know they had a ute like this one by Dazza, they do. Check it out mate.

Yeah I'm definitely getting this one mate. You gotta respect your elders mate. This is true blue Aussie history mate. None of that other shit.

But Dazza, you know that ute that Jonno said he was gonna get? But we were all like, nah bullshit mate.

Nah, not that one, that was Robbo. I hate that fuckhead. Stole me smokes off me last week. Yeah I'm done with that cant.

Yeah so Jonno was like, if I could have ANY UTE IN THE WORLD it would be THIS ONE. And he shows me this:

Yeah mate, how fucking good is it eh?

By the way, did you know Ute stood for utilitarian vehicle? Yeah you didn't did ya? That's cause you're a dumb cant.


Comments

    Struth, me mates Bazza and Shazza gonna blast some Acca Dacca on the way to Macca's in this game or what. Perfect to get our McNuggets on then some pingers and a sly group shag in the back.

    By the way, for anyone having trouble decoding this post, it does not appear to be part of the Stranger Things puzzle.

    'ken oath mate, that Pan'o* is a blinder. Fark me.

    *Also known as a panel van.

      *Also known as a pain relief medication, which incidentally I'll need if I keep trying to read the above article in Mark's scottish accent...

      Last edited 28/07/16 2:06 pm

    Struth! Did I miss the memo or is Kotaku having a Impersonate Steve Irwin competition?

    they better have Aussie Ford vehicles in here too. FPV Super Pursuits, Typhoons, Escorts, Cortinas, you just cant have a proper rivalry without Red and Blue

      nevermind, found it
      2015 Ford Falcon XR8
      2005 Ford GT
      1966 Ford GT40 Mk II
      2000 Ford SVT Cobra R
      2009 Ford Focus RS
      1973 Ford XB Falcon GT
      1987 Ford Sierra Cosworth RS500
      2012 Ford F-150 SVT Raptor
      2011 Ford Transit SuperSportVan
      1973 Ford Capri RS3100
      1969 Ford Mustang Boss 302
      2014 Ford Ranger T6 Rally Raid
      1975 Ford Bronco
      2017 Ford GT
      2017 Ford F-150 Raptor
      2014 Ford FPV Limited Edition Pursuit Ute
      2016 Ford Shelby GT350R

        No Ford XC Falcon Panel Van with 351 engine and GTS options, no buy.

          this is just the current release, there are something like 350 cars in total from memory, there may be a few extras not listed here.

        1973 Ford XB Falcon GT
        bloody ripper mate

          i love that they have the Cosworth and the 73 Capri in there too.

      Someone didn't read the article.

      Yeah, really hope they put more in like the XC Cobra, TE Cortina, XY GTHO Phase III, XP Falcon. If not in the initial release, at least as DLC. Some Valiants wouldn't go astray either.

    I don't know about you but this is the strangest thing I've ever read about Pokemon Go.

    Mark Serrels' vengeance against every Aussie caaaaaant who tries on the Scottish accent with him

    Missed an opportunity for a 'yeah nah', but yeh... s'awright.

    This is legit the only time I might ever consider buying a racing game. unreasoning national pride ftw.

    I love how you gave in to the urge this time and snuck it in somehow.

    What's Dazza? (Sorry, not been here long enough)

      a sterotypical Aussie name. (we like 2 syllabal names)
      others include
      Azza = Aaron
      Gazza = Gary
      Bazza = Barry

      the other thing is to add the letter O on the end
      Matto = Matt or Matthew
      Beno - Ben or Benjamin
      Deano = Dean

    If Area 7's "Nobody likes a bogan" isn't on the soundtrack then someone has to be fired

      I haven't heard that song in years, it'll now be stuck in my head for the rest of the day...

    utilitarian? utility.....

      utilitarian = designed to be useful or practical rather than attractive
      still works with the word car, i would have said utility though too.

      Could be part of the joke. Trying to sound smarter than one is through use of additional syllables :P

    Maaaaate, the new utes look awesome.

    However, as a gaming site that I'm sure several minors would frequent, your editor-in-chief should take a look at the language you use. Very inappropriate.

    If one of the camps for this game isn't a B&S Ball... or if one of the challenges doesn't have you doing circlework in a paddock somewhere... then the devs have completely missed the point.

    Crikey mate, this fair dinkum reminds me of that time when those buggers over at Codemasters chucked the V8's into one of their bloody racing games. By jingo that was an absolute bloody cracka of a game. Hopefully they dont chuck a wobbly and bung too many of those bloody Ford shitboxes in...

    Had a fair laugh at that article, wowee sounds like you xbox boys and girls are in for a real treat!! I'm a bit jelly

      Also coming to Windows I believe

      Last edited 28/07/16 4:26 pm

      Buy a box. MS are practically giving them away (Or play on PC)

    Sprayjob of a near naked shiela riding a tiger riding a surfboard on the side or GTFO.

      Does this have the custom paint job tool???

    Fucks sake Serrels, my eyes are bleeding from reading that :P

    *In Trent from Punchy voice* This article is heaps sick ay!

    But seriously, my hype for this game could be any bigger.

    BTW Cover blown Serrels, I don't think I can believe the Scottish part of the story anymore

Join the discussion!