Pauline Hanson Wants To Save Gamers From Australia’s Terrible Internet

Pauline Hanson Wants To Save Gamers From Australia’s Terrible Internet

We are Australians. We play games online. We get our arses kicked because Australian internet is terrible. It’s a disgrace. It’s a damn disgrace.

But relax guys. Relax. Pauline Hanson is on the case. She knows. Pauline understands. Pauline Hanson is here to shake things up. Australian gamers, if Pauline Hanson has her way you will lose no more!

It all started with this tweet…

Then came this little nugget:

Those poor buggers in the bush. Someone give these kids their internet!

Pauline, we might not agree on literally any other policy you can imagine. You might be a terrifying racist who reflects a troubling shift in national political discourse, but at least we agree on this: UNACCEPTABLE.

(Also, this tweet. Because reasons.)


  • Just relate whatever you have a problem with to racism or other countries having it better than us in some way and Pauline will agree.

    • An old boredom trick of mine was to get on the neo-nazi bbs stormfront and see what sorts of shit I can get racists to agree with. Basically on there they will agree with *anything* as long as you blame it on the jews. So I’d claim that aboriginals are infact better off if white people where not here, GEE THANKS JEWS, and they’d all start nodding their heads furiously. Gay people oppressed by jews? Damn those jews. Etc etc etc. It was really goddamn bizare.

  • Except, even with the fastest internet we would still get beaten from overseas. Our internet sucks, true, but fixing it can’t help our ping rating to overseas servers and hosts. The problem is our shitty practises that make it almost impossible to run Australian servers specifically for Australian gamers, and for developers to design their matchmaking system to only match Australian gamers with other Australians.

    • We probably in all honesty need to run International trunks that run direct without landfall to Japan, Singapore and the US (and also a trunk that runs across the desert from Sydney\Melbourne\Brisbane to Perth).

      At that stage, our pings just *might* break 100ms on Fiber when gaming internationally. *Might*.

        • I think you failed to get the gist of my post zombie, we’ve pretty well much done all we can to minimise our pings to the US\Asia. The only way we will lower them is by as direct as possible, ignoring landing points we have.

          • Sorry, I didn’t make my point clear. The undersea cables we use to Singapore, Japan and the US go through Jakarta, Guam and Hawaii respectively. There’s no routing overhead in those places for cross traffic, they don’t act as gateways and they don’t strictly make ‘landfall’. That’s why I linked some of them for you – cable traffic runs through an optical splitter at each junction, which adds no more latency to the signal than an amplifier does, which have to be used regardless. Removing the splitters at Jakarta, Guam or Hawaii wouldn’t affect cross traffic latency.

          • However you could shave distance off those runs by running as direct as possible. I’m not talking anything realistic of course, more pointing out the fallacy of Hanson spouting shit like this.

      • my PING ins D3, WoW, & Overwatch are sub 50ms and in D3 & WoW hover around 24ms. I’m on cable. It’s the games own services that a subpar as well as our internet.

        • Yeah, as Camm noted, Blizzard set up a datacentre here about 2-3 years back, you’re put here automatically in D3 and Overwatch and oceanic WoW servers were moved here back in 2014. It was a huge relief for my hardcore D3 runs!

    • I can’t remember the last game i played that didn’t have Australian servers. The odd couple early access games might not have them initially but that quickly gets remedied. But yeah overall, Aussie servers seem to be everywhere now,

      • The problem is getting funnier though – now we are encountering that Australia can only support so many multiplayer games.

        If you prefer retro games, or even last years hit, you better get used to overseas pings :P.

    • For God’s sake. She wants to improve our internet! Just run with it, will you? We don’t get chances like this often.

  • I feel horrible for saying it but based on her twitter engagement on this particular issue I almost find her likeable. People are calling her out on the assumption she has outmoded beliefs and is a horrible candidate to speak about the NBN she’s giving it back in spades, and seems to be genuinely passionate about this.

    Doesn’t change the fact her and her party members are generally backwards racist pieces of shit though.

    • She probably got herself on the committee so that she can insist we build a firewall that will block any incoming traffic from Asian and/or Islamic countries.

    • I think that whatever else you may think of her, you’d have to admit that Pauline is genuine. She certainly doesn’t hide behind the prevarications and conservatively-worded statements that other politicians seem to employ.

          • Now, now, let’s not be melodramatic… you are essentially saying he is the world’s greatest con artist. Yes, he’s rude, abrasive, offensive and tacky, but people find him more trustworthy than Hillary Clinton.

          • As Bob Hawke once said “Do you know why I have credibility? Because I don’t exude morality.”

            And as Paul Keating once said “He’s a pre-Copernican obscurantist.”

          • @piratepete: Copernicus proposed the heliocentric model, where the earth and planets revolved around the sun, so pre-Copernican is to say someone is completely out of touch and also implies they arrogantly think everything revolves around them. And an obscuritanist is someone who willfully hides or obscures facts in order to be misleading.

            Note that this describes most politicians 😛

          • @piratepete a tongue-in-cheek way of saying someone is from the stone age and wants to keep knowledge from the masses. Like your tribal high priests, witch doctors etc.

          • And true.

            As ridiculous as he is, she needed an orange clown as an opponent to be taken seriously.
            And even then……

          • Why deplorable? Trump’s a buffoon and not someone I’d like to be president of anything, but it’s not a huge stretch to have more trust in him than someone who’s been in politics for basically their whole life and doesn’t know that ‘c’ stands for confidential. She’s either lying (she is) or she’s an absolute moron.
            Add Whitewater, Benghazi, the Clinton Foundation’s pay-to-play details… and her track record isn’t great. Which is why possibly the worst candidate in history in Trump is giving her a close run.

          • Trump and Hillary are both shit candidates, I wish this race was between Sanders and Cruz. But out of the two we have? I can see the country begrudgingly accepting Hillary.

          • @leigh for who? Gary Johnson? I just called both Clinton and Trump idiots so we’re running out of people the script can come from.

          • Yeah, I got no idea what @Leigh is on about. Apparently criticism of Clinton is not allowed. Growing tired of the opinion that voting for 3rd party is handing power to the devil (which one, lol).

            They are both just as horrible as each other.

          • The standard you walk past is the standard you accept. I stand by the statement, even if HRC felt it was politically more palatable to make a retraction.

          • @bj1 Sooo by that logic if you don’t rail against Hillary you accept the fact that she had a massive hand in destabilizing the middle east? Ultimately costing the lives of thousands if not tens of thousands.

            See I can play that game too. Such an statement is not fair for anyone and strawmanning at its finest.

          • @vaegrand: the thing with the USA is they use an utterly fucked up, arcane voting system to select their candidates, followed by First Past the Post voting rather than a preferential vote like in Australia. This means that voting for a third party candidate is literally a wasted vote.

          • @negativezero I know it is, but I would rather waste a vote, than vote for that horrible piece of shit. She literally only gets away with what she has done because she has a vagina and people just want to say “Oh I voted for the first female president”. The convenient memories of people that forget that she has for 30 years had a hand in making the world outside of America a truly horrible place. The fact that black America has forgotten that she supported her husbands laws that single handedly destroyed their families (petty drug laws) and who’s history as a lawyer is spotted with just as much morally questionable moments as the “angry orange”.

            Both Hillary and Trump are horrible and any one trying to paint any other picture needs to look at sources other than main stream media to see just how disgusting they are.

          • “People” Referring to US Citizens of which a a lot still believe earth is only a couple of thousand years old, Think Global warming is a lefty scam and think blacks should still be slaves.

            People trusting him does not validate his opinion.

      • You mean like Hitler. And Mao. And Stalin. And Pol Pot.

        That ‘at least they are genuine’ catch cry from conservatives is actually thinly-veiled authoritarian toadying.

        Not to go too deep, but the basis of conservative belief is attachment to strong authority figures as a protective mechanism from existential fear.

        Which is why you people are happy to see these monsters throw people in camps ‘because at least they mean what they say’.

        And before one of you pulls out your year 8 history book and says BUT MAO AND STALIN WERE COMMUNISTS AND HITLER WAS A NATIONAL SOCIALIST no, none of these people were progressive leaders and none presided over actual Communist or Socialist states. All were hard-right authoritarians whose dictatorships were nothing to do with ‘left wing’ ideologies.


        • I guess people have seen that the alternative is that the country falls further into the shitter…

          Mao did more for gender equality in China than any other leader.

          Easy to see stuff in black and white I suppose.

          • Do tell us about the ‘shades of grey’ you believe can be found in concentration camps, I am very eager to hear about this.

            And yes, the fact that conservative-thinking people embrace torture, rape and murder when they believe ‘that the country may fall further into the shitter…’ (although in every case they are wrong and being manipulated into thinking so) is indeed the reason why these bad things happen.

            Seen those rape camps we pay for with our tax dollars? That’s right, you haven’t, because the government won’t let you.

          • LOL, you’re basically saying that a murderer can’t also help little old ladies across the road. A pedophile can’t volunteer for Meals on Wheels etc.

            I once put a hypothetical scenario to someone, asking if she had a sulf-sustaining food supply in her house that would be enough for her and her children only, would she open the door to starving refugees who had no food. She said yes, even if it meant that she and her children and the refugees would all die of starvation.

            So yes, conservative people don’t have a monopoly on crazy thinking. Both left and right spin facts and appeal to emotion. You use the term ‘rape camps’, which suggests you have bought into the myth that all people working there are scum and will tolerate cruelty and abuse. I suppose you’d think all prison guards are brutal torturers too?

            The reality is that there are bad eggs in all parts of society, not limited by race, religion or political persuasion. There are people who will manipulate others in order to achieve their own ends, whether those ends are selfish or altruistic.

            With both personal and government debt at very high levels, it is a perfectly reasonable point of view that we should limit our spending. The rub is that in order to limit spending, certain people are going to receive less by the way of hand-outs or non-monetary assistance. That is, unless you are of the view that the rich should pay more tax. Companies won’t – they’ll just move overseas if they can or pass on the cost to the consumer if they can’t. The relatively small percentage of ‘rich’ people aren’t going to make a dent in the multi-billion dollar welfare bill that we are faced with each year. There is no solution that will please everybody.

            Sorry, got a bit off-track, but my point is that you can condemn actions for what they are, but those actions don’t necessarily taint all actions of that actor. Similarly, welfare is a zero-sum game. In the long term, you cannot increase what you give to some without others missing out.

    • Please no flame… But what has she said that makes her “a genuinely racist piece of shit”? I’m not defending her or anything, just I’ve never heard any quotes that I’d consider racist. Like, if I look up Trump racist/sexist quotes I get everything from the Mexican judge thing to pussy grabbing. I had a look at top ten racist things Pauline said, and none of it’s actually racist. Perhaps a little unsavoury, but not racist IMO. I missed her the first time round (other than that awesome song), so IDK what to make of her.

      EDIT: Yikes.. Found one at least. “They are of no benefit to this country whatsoever; they’ll never be able to work. And what my main concern is: is the diseases that they’re bringing in and yet no one is saying or doing anything about it.”

      • TBH I’m not even referring to her recent comments, back in the 90s nearly everything she said was some diatribe about Asians ruining the country and now she’s decided to capitalise on anti-Muslim sentiment as well. She wanted to reinstate the White Australia Policy. The best thing you could say about her was that she literally did not know the meaning of the word xenophobic.

        • ^this, in fact everything that she has said this time around is the sam eas what she said last time around, just replace muslim/islam with asian. the circumstances to her comming back into power is also the exact same, in the early nighties there were some major crimes that were commited by asian triads (murder of renowned heart surgeon Dr victor chang, assassination of the State MP for cabramatta) and then with port arthur, Howard split the liberal and national parties by introducing our current gun laws. this time around we have the lindt cafe seige and the police worker from paramatta being killed and then we have turnbull taking the top job from abbott to split the conservative base.

          the only difference is that time she is able to get away with a lot more bullshit because of internet

  • But what will she do about all the foreign bytes coming to this country and taking up hard drive space that honest home-grown Australian bytes could be occupying instead??


  • Populist much…

    See, that’s how someone who’s lofty credentials peak with “fish and chip shop owner” can be a national MP. Just go find a list of things that enough of people are bitching about and bitch about it with them.

  • I can actually see her being an asset in this particular case. She is an idealist and will be vocal about the things she believes in. The problem is that she obviously has very little actual knowledge in this area. If she is educated properly she could actually do some good here.

  • Let’s be honest, such a comment is more then likely just a PR stunt that the old farts think will “impress the young voters”. Doubt she gives two shits about gaming.

    She kind of gives me the same feeling as when you see a 40+ year old in three quarter pants, lynx and oakley sunnies thinking he can hang with the young crowd. Just stay out of it Hanson.

    • Comments about gaming, I think you’re right. Pretending to care deeply about the ping time in Call of Duty for some teenager in Woop Woop? I doubt she gives half a fuck.

      But about improving the internet service country wide, especially in rural areas where it matters most? I think she does care, and is taking her role in this committee very seriously.

      Unlike many other politicians though, she realises that the two are linked. In some respects politicians don’t care about internet that much because all it is for is young people using it for porn and games and pirated movies. While that’s true, it’s also becoming an integral utility in our increasingly connected/cloud-based modern world, and the service being subpar in the 21st century becomes increasingly less forgiveable with each passing month. That she can see this, and seems to care about it, shouldn’t be completely dismissed.

  • I had to double check this wasnt Pauline Pantsdown twitter satire… eep, no its real. I say all the power to her, one thing I truly miss are those soothing sounds of my 56k as it shock hands, with her anywhere near the project I guess we can look forward to those retro tunes once again. Sorry that was my attempt at satire, its was as successful as her attempt (again) to be a real politician.

    • Lets be fair here, she has more power than she ever had before. If only due to people becoming disillusioned with the main two parties.

      • it has nothing to do with the other two parties, its to do with people believing the hate bollocks people like her and Trump spread. Simple minds breaking down complex issues into something simple like “foreigners bad, life would be better if it was just us”. while the rest of us realise we dont need foreigners to blame for badness, we do that to each other just as successfully without them.

        • Or… orrrrr… just hear me out here; they pay attention to sources other than MSM and see Europe. Their natural thought is “Oh shit, dont want that to happen here”.

          I am not saying her opinion is good; it is very clearly a horrible outlook to have, but when globalism is flavour of the year and both parties seem to be cracking to pressure from the far left; people are naturally going to gravitate to whoever makes them feel safe.

          • Pity that the migration and security problems in Europe are caused by the mindless austerity that the right-wingers in Australia are trying to do to us.

          • LOL WUT? This globalism nonsense is caused by right wingers; are you ok? You seem to be having a stroke. You know that the left has been in control of Europe for decades now?

            The migration issues that they are facing are for now different than ours and the causes behind it are also different. We don’t let people just wander in, we check most people first. The problem we are facing is that “feelings” are starting to gain more power in our country than say “reason” and that is directly caused by liberal bleeding hearts that can’t see the bigger picture over the constant stream of crap coming out of mainstream media.

            In Europe their issue is that their 1% opened the gates and used their media to shame the victims of crimes caused by their newly introduced population into silence. Thankfully we live in an age where a mother who is nursing her son that got badly assaulted while just trying to play sport with his friends can upload her story onto the internet. Where the fact that a young special needs girl was gang raped by a young Syrian group of immigrants doesn’t get buried because it doesn’t fit CNN’s agenda.

            These things aren’t caused by the right (ten years ago I would have scoffed at any one typing this), but instead the lefts constant push for globalism and the idea that we should share everything we have with certain groups that aren’t going to subscribe to the same ideology as us.

  • I heard a rumour that it you post an article with Pauline Hanson in the title three times she appears behind you and makes you eat fish and chips while she lectures you about the ‘Asian Invasion’. I don’t know if the folklore has evolved with Hanson’s views on Asians to Muslims, but best to grab a preventative Halal Snack Pack on the way home tonight, Serrels.

  • This is such a joke. I wouldn’t be surprised if Blockbuster started opening stores here soon. Maybe I’ll get a library card. Maybe buy some stamps.

  • Easy solution! Ban country gamers from playing online games. There, problem solved. I should be an advisor in the One Nation party.

  • Pauline Hanson Wants To Save Gamers From Australia’s Terrible Internet

    Fair enough; but who’s going to save the gamers from Hanson?!

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