Conan On Final Fantasy XV: ‘Why Would Someone Play This?’

Conan On Final Fantasy XV: ‘Why Would Someone Play This?’
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Conan O’Brien and Elijah Wood checked out Final Fantasy XV in the newest “Clueless Gamer”. Conan, it seems, did not have a good time.

According to the late night host, they spent the longer with FFXV than they have with any other game in a “Clueless Gamer” segment.

But, according to Conan, “I don’t know what we achieved. I don’t know what we were trying to achieve. I have no sense of satisfaction.”

He then added, “This whole thing is like an epic blue balls waste of time.”


  • I’ve always thought the same about all the Final Fantasy games, but hey, at least they’ll keep selling now (as if they were in any danger of not).

    • Geez, Take a chill pill, He is a comedian, Someone said something about your precious favourite thing, Get over it. What kind of person tells someone they should die because they said something bad about a video game they like. Grow up

      • What kind of person tells someone they should die because they said something bad about a video game they like.

        Correction: A video game they haven’t even played yet.

      • HAHAHAHA seems you are getting your back up about your favorite thing. My comment was merely in jest I couldn’t give 2 fucks about Final Fantasy lol. Also pretty sure I didn’t say he should die just said his life was a waste of time. Once again in jest, and thank you for once again proving that people in this world are way too stiff and need to “take a chill pill”.

      • Yeah. It’s kinda what Conan does.
        It’s always a little crushing to watch Conan rip the shit out of your favourite games. Especially when his gaming underling tries to explain lore. He very obviously mugs for the camera, faking falling asleep etc.

      • Haven’t played WoW since the days of Burning Crusade honestly, and furthest I got was Molten Core so no idea lol

          • I’m honestly going to say you’re right with that one, because that’s what, 10 years ago now??? I have no clue as I can barely remember it as is beyond the name lol

          • Haha. Often much more than 5hrs. If MC only took you 5hrs, it was because you were all well and truly overgeared for it and just had it on farm. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if taking a tricked-out-to-fuck 110 in there takes a good 2hrs to complete just from all the running.

            It used to take 5-8hrs to queue for Alterac Valley. And if you managed to get in, you were calling in sick to work that day, because the resulting battle was going to take 12-18hrs.

      • didn’t Yiazmat take at least 6 hrs? it helps that you can leave the battle and its health won’t recover much

        • 6 hours in game, possibly days in real life (I doubt most have the patience to sit through that fight from start to finish). Adamantoise is probably the same way, with the 72 hours being a miss-translation. FFXV has a night and day cycle, with one entire day being… I guess 1 hour real time? 72 XV hours could really be 3 hours for us.

          3 hours is okay. 72 hours is taking away the title Absolute Virtue and Pandemonium Warden earned (which is bad).

    • This alone makes me question whether I really want to invest time in this game… surely that can’t be accurate? If so, I’m out.

      • I looked it up and it’s apparently just a rumour from a joke one of the devs made a while ago so it could be complete crap, or some people were saying it might actually be 72 game hours which is around 3 hours IRL (still too long for me I think)

        • Yeah, even 3 hours for a boss fight sounds like a bad time. Guess I’ll wait for post-release impressions to filter though. I mean, there’s every chance that there’ll be more wrong with this game than drawn out boss fights. I’m hoping for the best, though…

          • It’s probably like Yiazmat, where you can flee and save and the boss will won’t restore HP. If anything, it won’t be as bad as Absolute Virtue and Pandemonium Warden (which require you to fight from start to finish. Back when, a group fought PW for 18 hours and eventually gave up as people in their group were getting ill from sleep deprivation).

  • I normally find Conan unbearable but he’s totally right on this one, I just don’t get FFXV.

    Final Fantasy has always been wierd but it still always had a solid purpose (warriors of light coming together to save the world, trying to stop a god-like entity that possesses the body of those that defeat it and continues destroying the world forever, etc). This time we get to go on a road trip with some mates to a wedding – oh and there’s some political stuff going on too… or.. ROAD TRIP!!!

    • That honestly sounds like the most interesting storyline i’ve heard in a long time in a genre packed with tropes and uninspired “saviour of the world” storylines. Mature storytelling is often found in the minutiae, not in grand, overwrought epics. The Last Of Us.

    • I think it’s safe to assume there’s more to the story than beginning and ending with four guys driving around in a car. I mean if all they showed us of FFVII was the intro we’d think it was a game was a public transport simulator. FFVIII would just be a handful of high school kids taking an exam then going to the beach. The spoiler free trailers/demos for those games would suck.
      These are very long games that focus on a hero setting out on a journey, growing, meeting new people and saving the world. I’m not saying FFXV will be fantastic but it doesn’t sound so different to me.

      • I mean if all they showed us of FFVII was the intro we’d think it was a game was a public transport simulator.
        I think you forgot the most important part of that intro, Aeris selling flowers! Public transport AND flower marketing, GOTY.

        • Now I’m tempted to make a game where you sell flowers at the train station and don’t make anywhere near enough money to justify going and picking the flowers. Flower-stall Tycoon.

  • Haven’t looked into this one much but if it was anything like ffxiii in which there was maybe an hour of gameplay between all the cutscenes then I am out.

  • I really looking forward to FFXV. This feels like a real return to form for Square

    This giving it to conan was an idiotic pr move. These games aren’t really made for streaming celebrities. They are like large novels that you enjoy by yourself in comfort.

    Square enix needs to fire it’s pr department, they keep doing stupid stuff like this.

  • I’m not the biggest JRPG fan – this is on my radar, but I’ll be waiting to see how it goes and also I’d pick it up on PC.

  • I think showing a JRPG on Conan’s show was doomed to fail. His show is snappy, full of quips and immediate payoff. The correct response to his comment about blue balls is that he just doesn’t have the staying power. Only people with the biggest and heaviest balls can play JRPGs 😉

  • I don’t get him. In the first place, no one sets out to achieve things when they play video games.

    If he said something along the lines like ‘this seems too long winded’ or ‘too repetitive’ then fanboys getting butthurt would be understandable. But that sort of comment is just trolling to attract attention.

    Owells, comedians shouldn’t be taken seriously.

  • Wonder if Conan has played other RPGs, even acclaimed masterpieces like Elder Scrolls mean nothing if you only play for a few hours and then leave. It’s all about following a story, rather than aiming for a goal.

    • He played witcher 3, fallout 4 and other rpgs. He enjoyed them I think. The story progression is faster (and no car pushing, boys want to check out dresses, etc).

      • He only plays snippets of gameplay from different parts of the games. In the Witcher playthrough they jumped over to Skellige and did the sex scene with the unicorn, if only because it was so ripe for parody.
        I’m more concerned that this video didn’t show a single actual battle.

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