I Finally Can Play Red Alert And Age Of Empires On The Loo

I Finally Can Play Red Alert And Age Of Empires On The Loo

I’m not sure the bloke in the stall next to me would appreciate the “wololo” sound effect, mind you.

Gaming on the loo is serious business. It’s an important tool to unwind from a crappy job (sorry) and a perfect way to relax.

But now those toilet breaks are about to get a little longer – because someone’s got Age of Empires 2 going on their Nexus 5 phone.

According to the instructions in the description, you’ll need the original Age of Empires 2 files and a program called ExaGear Strategies. The latter is basically an emulator that allows x86 programs to run on ARM-based devices (as in, your smartphone).

You’ll also need DirectX 8.1b. Oh yeah, the installation process is real annoying.

Here’s the rest of the instructions:

After the install is done, a dialog box will tell you to unzip the setup. By default, the chosen folder will be “Temp”. Change the directory to any other folder using the built-in file explorer. Once you have selected the folder, unzip it and wait until it is done, then close the dialog box. A popup will confirm that DirectX 8 has been installed. You can now close the app.

You’ll need a sound fix after that – not because you want to convert everyone nearby, but because the game will crash if you don’t. But hey, if you go through the steps you can get Age of Empires going on the phone.

It’s also possible, with the same program, to get Red Alert 2 going.

The Nexus 5 is a low-to-mid range phone these days, so anyone who got a handset in the last 12 months should be capable of playing both games. The video above is with a Samsung Galaxy S7, and you can see that the game runs … well, pretty smoothly.

The functionality has been possible for a while, but like me you might not have come across it immediately (or given it a go). But seeing as we’ve just had a Steam sale – where Age of Empires 2 was again available for a song – and Red Alert 2 was recently given away for free on Origin, there’s a good chance you’ll have the install files for both games in an account somewhere, if not your hard drive.

You can play a whole heap of other games too. The ExaGear site lists controls for Civilization 3 and Heroes of Might and Magic 3, while there’s a separate ExaGear RPG app that has customised controls for the first two Fallout games and Jagged Alliance 2, among others.

I think my Christmas just got a whole lot more convenient. (Or fiddly, depending on how you look at it.)


  • I know I talk a lot of crap but it’s definitely not really a healthy recommendation to plant yourself on the toilet for longer than you be should be after said function!!

    • Yeah, I was way more excited about that too. I know what I’m doing on my stupid long international flight over Christmas 🙂

  • I wonder if I could get Master of Orion 2 onto the phone?

    Though I think the better question is “Should I put MoO2 on the phone, thereby destroying any chance of productivity as long as the phone is within reach and has battery life”?

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