Don't Have Kids

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So for the last two weeks, my PlayStation 4 hasn't been working.

To be more precise, it was refusing to play discs.

Everything else was fine: downloaded games worked, apps worked. But the PS4 wouldn't read any disc at all. Most of my games are on the hard drive, but there were a couple of games I was hoping to finish (The Last Guardian, Titanfall 2).

Also my copy of Overwatch was on disc.

So this shit wouldn't fly. I decided to have a go at fixing it.

I'm not very good at fixing things. I've never built my own PC and I generally make things worse when I try and solve techy problems, but whatevs. I decided to have a go. After watching a few YouTube instructional videos and borrowing an intense screwdriver set from my brother-in-law, I got to work.

But before I opened anything, I gave my PS4 a gentle shake.


What the hell?

I broke warranty by removing some stickers on the back, allowing me to unscrew certain parts of the PS4 and open it up for the top. After a bit more work I managed to take out the Blu-ray drive.

That's when I noticed.

What the fucking fuck?

I've got a healthy number of screws sitting next to me, but I decide to take this one step further. I took apart the Blu-Ray drive.

Yep, that's exactly what it looks like. Zelda: Triforce Heroes wedged in my goddamn PS4 Blu-ray drive.

And that's when it clicked. I have two kids. One just turned four and the other is 12 months old. The oldest has a 3DS but he's a bit careless about leaving the games lying around. My youngest likes to put those games in his mouth. Why? I have no earthly idea.

My youngest has also developed a habit for putting things into other things.

You don't have to be Columbo to work out who the culprit is here.

Insanely, once I removed the 3DS cartridge, and put the PS4 back together again, it worked perfectly. Problem solved.

This isn't the first time they've pulled shit like this.





    It's time to wholly embrace digital distribution. It's the only way.

    Last edited 23/01/17 10:35 am

      It's time to wholly embrace digital distribution.

      Not with current DRM, especially Nintendo's.

      Physical media is not going away anytime soon thanks to bad DRM measures outnumbering the good ones.

      Last edited 23/01/17 3:28 pm

        I just meant in this specific instance.


      You wouldn't download a Kid...

        You wouldn't smack a kid and then steal its DS!
        You wouldn't go to the toilet on its DS and then throw it at the crying kid, then steal it again! Downloading films/games is STEALING!

      No thanks. I like to be able to sell my games if I don't want them anymore.

    Finally, backward compatibility for your PS4.

      Better yet, cross dev compatibility! What's next, putting Mega_Drive cartridges in an expansion slot? *swoon*

    Oh Mark, so harsh to your spawn. Let the little buggers have their fun because at the end of the day even my own kids make mistak..... THEY DID WHAT WITH WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

    Disclaimer: I don't actually have children...

    Last edited 23/01/17 10:40 am

      The top-shelf isn't going to save him. Those kids have climbing in their genes.

    One day Mark you will learn to keep these things out of reach, one day.

      I doubt it. That'd dry up about 10% of his articles :-P

    Don't blame them Mark, our entire civilisation was built on the fascination of putting things into other things.

      It's only 10.47am but you win the internet today :P

        2001 called, it wants it joke back.

          It does? Does 2001 also have your sense of humour, or is that lost to the annals of time?

      "Mummy, where did I come from?"
      "Well kiddo,as the wise danmazkin said one day in the Kotaku comments section, "Our civilisation was built on the fascination of putting things in other things.""

      Just like how we put chocolate to milk and look how well that worked out!

    "This thing plays games on my small screen, that thing plays games on a big screen. I want to play Zelda on the big screen." :P

    I'm more amazed that there wasn't any disc in there with the 3DS cartridge... do you not leave what you're currently playing in the drive? Or did the little one have the foresight to remove the current disc first?

    My youngest has also developed a habit for putting things into other things.

    To be fair... that's how you started this whole kids mess.

    Not as funny as a toddler told 'no' for putting a sandwich in a VCR who then told an adult 'no' for putting a tape in.

    Luckily my kids didn't have a putting things in things phase.

      The same thing happened to me when my kids were toddlers! That was when we decided to invest in a VCR lock.

    That's a surprising amount of plastic gears on the Bluray drive. Quite interesting.

    You don't have to be Columbo to work out who the culprit is here.

    Yeap, it was you, @markserrels.

    After a hard day's work you accidentally put the game into the drive and decided to try and frame your kids on the Internet by writing an article about the situation.


    Haha, ouch!

    I have three kids, ages 4,3,1 - I don't console game, in fact all the TV is used for is chrome cast really..

    My gaming PC is sitting on a high desk and in the office where the door is mostly shut.

    I'm sure this protection isn't going to last forever...

      It's easy to protect. Just balance an ACME anvil on the top of the door.

      The whole group will learn quickly. Individual results will most likely vary.


    Baby barriers, learn to use them.. Never ever have any issue with kids getting to consoles, games, tvs etc with a baby barrier.

      My kid could climb and flip over baby barriers before she could walk.
      Children are beasts.

      Just teach them no. Neither of our kids touch the stuff in the open fronted with no doors tech shelf that is within their reach. New TV cabinet that has just gone in has moved them from crawling height to toddler reach height although they are both past crawling now.

    The amount of times I found my old psp discs wedged under the tv stand haha. I know your feels.

    I went through something similar, when my 2 year old decided the PS3 looked hungry and stuffed it full of BBQ Shapes

      My son shoved 4 discs into my ps3, one after the other . I'm surprised they all fit and that thankfully none of them were games.

    As a kid one of our friends broke their vcr by trying to make toast in it

    My nephew who visits me knows when he comes by that I expect him to treat my xbox1/ps4 with extreme care. Otherwise he will never touch anything else in my house.

      Was that before or after you cut off his hand when he learned the lesson the first time?


    similiar story when my ps3 wouldnt read any discs and kept ejecting them.
    Turns out its because there were 4 cd's jammed in there courtesy of the kids.

    keep your electronics out of reach ppl.

    Also my girls are yet to break a console or do something to them that they shouldn't.

    Maybe it's just boys?

      Having much younger siblings I can attest to it not being just boys.

      We have two boys. About twice one has opened the Blu Ray player. Telling them 'No' when their fingers go for it and actually backing up warnings with punishment (not over that, but they learn that no means no generally) and you will usually have a good time. Either that or we have really good kids and our friends have some real shitballs.

        Yeah, just seems to be most parents we know that have boys have a harder time getting them to comply with things like this.

      Hold down the power button for four seconds.

      If you hear a hiss and suddenly smell Channel No. 5 then you know they are already modifying it without your notice.


        Well seeing as how neither of them are into perfume, I'd wonder who has been in my house.

          My apologies. It seemed funnier in my head back then but now it feels over the line.

          Again, my apologies.

            all good.

            took me a few to decide how to respond without attacking.

      When my little girl was younger she was more interested in taking things out of other things. Like, for example, deciding the DVD/Game shelves were a little unorganised and relocating the contents of the shelves onto the floor.

    My terrors use my consoles as deposit boxes ... always finding coins in the disk drive! always crappy 5 cent pieces so of no value anyway!

    The sub woofer in lounge rattles. I've pulled it apart and taken a flood of cars out of it before. It rattles again now, I don't really want to find out what's in it this time :\

    Holographic Cards from Woolies, jammed into the slot on the PS3, dozens of them, had to do a full tear down of the blu ray drive to get them all out

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