The Nintendo Switch Already Has A Promising Esport

The Nintendo Switch Already Has A Promising Esport

I’m seeing a lot of negativity out there about the Switch’s launch line-up, but I really don’t know what people are talking about. The 1-2 Switch is gonna be a system seller, and it’s going to be because of this amazing cow milking mini-game.

Maybe you missed it yesterday — the official 1-2 Switch trailer only has a split second of this mini-game, but it turns out there’s a second trailer dedicated solely to this aspect of the game. You’ve gotta see this.

The idea alone is kinda out there… but the way the actors oversell it, as if they are in sheer ecstasy milking an invisible cow, is something else:

It’s gotta be that HD Rumble in the Joy-Cons, right? They must really be able to feel the tactile bliss of having an udder in their hands. Damn.


      • Fun? No one was angry, there was no violence, hardly any cussing; nowhere near mature enough to be considered real, serious gamer-fun.

        • Also no hyper-realistic HD graphics of the udder. How can we ever know that we’re having fun unless we see every little gritty detail? Preferably if the udder is caked in dirt and dried blood so we can marvel at the 64 million shades of brown that the system is capable of displaying. Oh what fun we could have, then.

          • Please. We don’t want to trip the censorship alarm and have it banned in Australia.

  • No, Just no.

    the ability to virtually milk a cow does not change my negative opinion of the switch.

    • They are crazy if they don’t realise this by release. The last two consoles have done exactly this, have something bundled in that shows off some aspect of the system. It’s being priced at full game price for pre order, but I’m hoping that is just stores slapping the usual price on everything before they get actual pricing from Nintendo.

  • Many lonely men will be great at this exciting new e-sport?

    I’m sorry, but this is a pretty weird idea, and I grew up milking cows… (or maybe its weird because it was common-place for me?)

    My city born brethren: do you find this prospect entertaining?

  • Tennis, Bowling, Golf are all social games that fit well into playing at home with family and friends.
    Milking a cow, unless you are a farmer, is probably something you prefer to do one-on-one, and definitely not with Grandma.

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