The Celebrity House has a new neighbour, and he’s tryna to put them in the worst mood.
Tilda Swinton hasn’t been feeling great for the past few days. She keeps passing out and waking up in strange places, and her neck is hurting all the time. But that’s all OK, because she’s made a new friend: Abel Tesfaye, also known as recording artist The Weeknd.
Nobody else in the house likes to visit him — the one time Zayn went over, he claimed that Abel “acted weird” and “physically assaulted him”.
But he’s Tilda’s kind of people. His house is lush and dark, he likes to stay out all night and he keeps talking about drinking. She’s never seen him actually have a drink, though…
A few days ago, however, Tilda started feeling worse and worse. She can’t keep food down. She sleeps during the day. She’s been very dehydrated. I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical, non-supernatural reason for all this.