How Do You Give Overseas Friends And Relatives The 'Aussie' Experience?

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I had an old friend from North Carolina come and visit a few days ago, and he only had a few days in the city. It was his first time in Sydney, and I wanted to really show him what Australia is all about. What do you do in this situation?

There are all the touristey things, which for me are the Sydney icons -- the Opera House, the Harbour Bridge, Taronga Zoo, etc. If they're a whiskey fan, we're definitely stopping by Baxter.

There are the condiments. Tutoring Americans on the proper spread of Vegemite is a favourite pastime, and Milo can go down well. Nutella has become so popular overseas that it's not seen as an Australian delicacy anymore. My go-to here is the Tim Tam Slam -- it's not extremely decadent, it's fun and novel, and every time I show a visiting game developer they go nuts for it.

There's the outdoorsey stuff, like going over to the three sisters, or if you've got some more time/money, maybe a little trip to Uluru or the Reef. My experience here is that Australia's reputation for spiders and snakes results in a high-pitched squeal as soon as you mention the possibility of camping. It takes coaxing, but there are some overnight hikes that are definitely worth it. Just bring some salt if it's been raining for a week beforehand!

What about you? Do you have any "Aussie experience" rituals you go through when people come to visit, other than the usual touristey things in the city? A favourite night spot you go to? Iconic food? Fun activity? Any shows they need to watch? Any hidden beaches they need to see?


Comments

    Nutella has become so popular overseas that it's not seen as an Australian delicacy anymore

    Might have something to do with it being Italian

    Quick tour around north QLD or NT. Gotta take them to real Australia :P

      What makes one part of the country more Aussie than another? I mean, if I want them to see dust, flies, deep seated racism n fuck all else I might take your advice...

        Meet the local locals including the elders and see what life is like in the communities that are still chugging along. But I mean sure, don't let life experiences get in the way of your narrative, bud.

          Good answer. Though as I travel a lot in my job the 3 things I listed ARE what I've predominantly experienced in those states. But yes I know there's more to them than that. I still wanna know why my piece of Oz isn't as aussie as your piece tho.

            I never said it wasn't, heck I thought it was a pretty clear jab at everyone. Seems you took offence to nothing :S

    Forget the touristy things, and go down under the skin of Australia. Show them what is REALLY Aussie. Show them places they don't hear about over seas, places that are, why iconic, not really a complete picture of Australia.

    So, local pubs, clubs, and, most important, make sure they get a taste of stuff that is truly Aussie food. That is, Vegimite on Toast, DONE PROPERLY, not spreed like peanut butter, but lightly spreed.

    Then there is the meat pie, made for portability and easy to eat, weather it be your basic mince pie, or a really good chicken pie. Then there is the BBQ. Hamburger, bread, souguses, rolls, booz and friends.

    If they want a real Aussie experience, they need to LIVE like an Aussie. Get him a job at min wage, take to a restaurant and don't tip. Do things the Aussie Way. Give money to people on Meth, but don't give any to family. The Aussie Way.

    Swear like a god dam AUSSIE, use every word in the god dam fucking DICKtinonery.

    AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! OI OI OI!

    But for real, just watch Netflix.

    BBQ, beach, desert, mountains (with snow if season allows, a lot get a buzz out of this.) local wildlife at either zoo or outside somewhere.

    Plus a 3 hour lecture on wrestling crocodiles and dealing with drop bears.

      Drop bears only attack British people

        Incorrect, during mating season an adult male drop bear will attack anyone who gets too close.

    Ask what their budget is for their stay, then take 60% of it to cover their housing. When they complain, tell them to go stay in Tamworth, then. It's much cheaper and just as good as anywhere else in Australia.

    If they are an enterprising individual, tell them to pay to stay at several different places, then sell their place to someone else on ebay. If they end up losing money on the deal, it's ok, they can claim it back at the duty-claim booth at the airport.

    If they visit queensland, they can enjoy a favourite past time of drinking, professional racism, climate-change denying, drinking, coal industry advocation, and purchasing jet-skis on a credit card.

    Finally, you can find out what they are really good at, then get everyone else to bring them down a peg. Anyone better at something or more intelligent than you is just showing off.

    A wildlife park is much better than a zoo. Just huge numbers of strange aussie animals.
    If you can get some mates about for a BBQ that is always good.
    A game of footy is good to really confuse them

      Oh and if they are from the states take them out for a decent coffee

        For a decent coffee? If Brisbane, has to be Merlo.

    If you wanted to show him the real Australia you should of taken him to an Auction and pointed out the young couples who started to cry.

    Dubbo Zoo, Dubbo Gaol, then the really nice Indian place that's opened up.

    BBQ & a couple slabs of Premium Dry Canadian Club Whisky. Always a success.

    Yell racial slurs at them all day, tell them to go back where they came from, drink, argue and stand in cetrelink all day waiting for a government handout, all while pretending to look for work, while blaming them for taking jobs, while not even being able to finish year 10 with out fastrack.

    Buy two tickets to Wolfe Creek and one back.

    Snaking back and forth through the arcades and small alleys in Melbourne CBD! It's always been a winner for me whens showing travellers.

    If they're American they need to be shown that stuff they drink at home is garbage so give them Tassie whisky, Melbourne coffee and Margaret River wines!

    Take them out during a Democracy Sausage Day.

    Throw them in a camp to be molested by guards paid by Australian taxpayers, prevent them from telling anyone about it, and then deny them medical aid when they are injured so that they die in the name of freedom.

    Then sit around with everyone I know and pointedly not discuss it because, you know, it didn't happen.

    'straya.

    I take them to a wildlife park to pat a kangaroo. And then take them to a restaurant to eat a kangaroo steak. Yum :)

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