What's The Best Way To Have Toast?

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I was going to ask something completely different for The Big Question today, but then a colleague put up a picture that is bang-on perfect for this.

It's quite simple: how do you like your toast? But rather than simply asking and getting people to go "oh, I like it this well done", there's a handy chart.

I'm not the kind of person who goes on a crusade against burnt toast. Something in the realm of E9 or J3 is perfectly edible if you're having something like peanut butter, particularly a thick serving of PB. A4, B4, C4, that's not even toast at that point. Too white, too soft.

On a regular basis though, I'd probably aim for something like B7. Although every toaster I use seems to burn the shit out of the crust somehow.

So, what's the best way to have toast?


    Never. Why ruin a perfectly fine piece of cloud-like fluffiness and delicate flavour into crumbly, smoke-tasting cardboard? Fight me.

      It's all about the crisp surface, followed by a fluffy interior. That lingering warmth and greasiness of the melted butter.

    E4, E5 I guess? It's kinda hard to tell as the picture is small and how toasted a slice of bread is a one-dimensional thing that doesn't really make sense on a two-dimensional spectrum.

      My thoughts exactly. Toasting bread is a linear exercise.

      I spent far too long trying to figure out what the second axis must be showing.

        Second axis is for the venn diagram.

    Lightly toasted both sides on the end of a stick over an open fire, then smeared with thick lashings of real butter and a dash of vegemite. #toastporn

    A6, preferably higher heat shorter toasting time so it's still soft in the middle.

    If it's thick toast I'll take it a little darker (about G4) but if it's thinner I'll go about G2.

    The ideal is to have some soft fluffy bread in the middle but it still needs to be warmed all the way through.

    Toppings on toast would be a good discussion.

    My favourites include:
    * butter & vegemite
    * 100% peanut butter (crunchy)
    * butter & jam
    * butter, bacon & eggs (over easy)

    Cheese toast ala Sizzler is clearly the best way.

    E3, then deep fried in beef tallow and covered feta cheese.

    Heavily buttered and sprinkled with hundreds and thousands ... just the way @markserrels likes it

      I got the notification via email. Saw the article headline. Instantly knew this would be a fairy bread sledge. Hahahahaha!

    I'm still working out why they are using a 2-dimensional plot for what is only a single variable...

      There would be more than just one variable. Heat, time, thickness, and density all spring to mind. There are probably others.

      No idea which two they've picked here (I assume heat and time), but all of those would change the toasting process to some degree. Toast your standard sandwich bread versus pumpernickel for example, and the sandwich bread will toast much faster.

        They're all valid observations but I don't think any of them apply in this case. Thickness, density and bread type are properties of the bread itself rather than the toasting process. I probably wouldn't include them on a chart like this, or it'd end up massive from all the different bread types alone.

        Heat isn't generally something we have much control over either, I don't know of any standard toasters that have a heat control. If you're using a toaster oven or something then maybe, but I didn't get the impression that's what the chart was going for.

        That leaves time, which is pretty much the single variable involved here. Less time, less toasted; more time, more toasted.

          Catch is, we don't know the circumstances that created that original 2 dimensional chart. A basic search doesn't really show much other than it might be no more than art.

          You're probably right though, I tend to think that time is really the only variable for anyone but toast snobs, but I was really just pointing out that if you get even remotely scientific on a study like this, those other variables could and would make a difference. Even just choosing between sandwich bread and toast thickness plays a part.

          Imagine that though, a civil online discussion on toast. What an age we live in... :)

    Raisin toast to H4, lots of butter and a half dose of vegemite (dont knock it till you try it)

    Diagonally from 5 - E, the lightest setting on my toaster. Hot enough to melt butter but not too dry.

    Favourite Condiments
    Apricot Jam
    PB + Honey
    Plain butter

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