I love asking questions almost as much as I love listening to answers. Last week at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (AKA “E3”, AKA “Electronic Three”), I got to do both of those things.
I asked E3 attendees three mildly stupid questions about video games. Here’s a video of several responses to the second question: “Which video game character would you choose as a roommate?”
I asked dozens of E3 attendees this question because, well, I’ve just moved to New York City, and I have been sleeping on a friend’s sofa for a couple of weeks while I look for an apartment of my own. So I have “living situation” on my mind.
By talking to E3 attendees about roommates, I learned a number of fascinating details about what people consider ideal qualities of a co-habitor. I also re-learned why I prefer living alone: Most responses indicated that the respondent not only wanted a roommate who was clean, they wanted a roommate who would do all of the cleaning and also help them with whatever they needed help with. Hmm. So yeah, “which video game character would you like as a roommate?” proved to be a springboard into a conversation about which video game character would be the most vulnerable to hygienic passive aggression in a domestic setting.
What is my own personal answer to this question? Heck, I don’t know. A couple of months ago, as a sort of weird joke, I Twitch-streamed myself and my friend Alex Jaffe writing a listicle entitled “These Video game Characters Would Make Terrible Roommates”, so maybe that’s of interest. Here’s one of the items from that list:
Any protagonist from an Assassin’s Creed game would be a terrible roommate.
They’d keep jumping up on top of stuff in the house! His normal walking speed is so slow that you just know he’s going to pull the right trigger to be running everywhere: Except the only way to run is in parkour mode, where he will Velcro onto literally any object. This dude is going to be on top of the refrigerator all the god darn time. He’s going to be like a kitten in a tree. He’s going to love being everywhere, because it’s so much more fun than that slow walk. He’s going to be bumping into you everywhere. He’s going to occupy every molecule of your space at pretty much all times.
He’s going to probably want to sleep in a bale of hay. Bales of hay remind the Assassin of his home. The guy loves bales of hay. He’s going to have a big bale of hay in his room and he’s going to sleep completely inside of that bale of hay. He’s going to be leaving scraps of hay all over your house. There’s going to be hay in your sofa. There’s going to be hay in your soup.
The first question was “What was the first video game you purchased with your own money?” Yesterday I posted a video of responses to that question.
[referenced url=”https://www.kotaku.com.au/2017/06/what-was-the-first-game-you-ever-paid-money-for/” thumb=”https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/t_original/tbxvgsowczrwyzrpisah.png” title=”What Was The First Game You Ever Paid Money For?” excerpt=”I love asking questions almost as much as I love listening to answers. Last week at E3, I got to do both!”]
There’s one question left — yep! Come back tomorrow!
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10 responses to “Which Video Game Character Would Make The Best Roommate?”
Not Mario.
I think Mario would fart a lot so he would be a poor room-mate.
Nathan Drake would be pretty cool guy to be with…
Duke nukem.
Mai Shiranui
Sabrewulf from Killer Instinct, cause he’s a big doggy.
Or maybe Lara Croft from Tomb Raider. Pre-2013 Lara though, less breathy.
Or the train from Train Simulator. I’ve always wanted a train.
Or Pyramid Head from Silent Hill, he seems like a pretty down to earth guy.
I think I would make my Nintendo characters my roommates because they have enough space for them to sit in my room making my room a museum full of Essendon and Nintendo merchandise full of books amiibos posters and a Super Mario calendar because it’s to help me get excited for Super Mario Odyssey coming to the Nintendo Switch on October 27.
MGS3 Snake. He’s quiet and can cook.
The objectively correct answer would be Link. The grass would always be mown, he’s pretty quiet and brings in more rupees than he knows what to do with. So long as you’re not planning to start pottery lessons any time soon you’re golden.
I’d also be very happy with Max from Life is Strange (I think we’d get along, plus she could rewind time. That’d be handy in plenty of situations.), Gordon Freeman (Smart, quiet, generally good in a firefight, you never know when that’d be useful) or Chell (again, quiet is a major boon, and she’s good at problem solving).
The worst answers I could think of would be Jacket from Hotline Miami (might get murdered), GLaDOS (might get murdered, might be driven to insanity by constant cruel jabs) and the sniper from TF2 (hygiene issues).
Isabelle from ACNL. She’s a hard worker, reminds you to do your chores and genuinely caring. Not sure if I could live with the guilt trips if forgot something though.
If a female was needed, I would go with Liara T’Soni. For a male, it could only be Geralt of Rivia. Imagine the conversations that you could have with either of these characters?