Marina Might Ruin Splatoon 2’s Splatfests, Bless Her 

Marina Might Ruin Splatoon 2’s Splatfests, Bless Her 

Splatoon 2 just had its first Splatfest, asking players to fight and see which dessert is better: Ice cream or cake. The competition was rigged from the start thanks to the popularity of Marina, the Octoling pop singer.

This is my confession: I love cake. Cake is fluffy, delicious and pretty much perfect. Cupcakes are little bundles of joy and I hope to die as large cakes, slathered in frosting, fall on me from a great height. But I didn’t fight for Team Cake in this Splatfest; I fought for Team Ice Cream because Marina loves ice cream. I betrayed my beloved cake because Marina is basically Splatoon Beyoncé, with eyeliner so on point it could stab a man to death with a stray wink.

They're both great but Marina is a god tier squid kid.

They’re both great but Marina is a god tier squid kid.

In Splatfests, the winner is determined by popularity and how many games their side wins. I suspect Marina had many more fans than Pearl given how many times I was dropped into ice cream v. ice cream battles instead of fights against teams championing cake. It must have been nine out of every 10 matches. The Ice Cream army seemingly dominated the field.

Let’s be real here: While Splatoon‘s squid sisters Callie and Marie were both pretty cool, Marina and Pearl are pretty different. Pearl has a lot of heart and can spit some fire on the mic, but Marina is stylish and style always seems to triumph in Splatoon. This is reflected in fan art, where Marina is a stand out star and Pearl has her own malformed Gremlin version that is cute but just a little bit frightening as well.

I battled through the Splatfest on our Twitch channel and achieved the title of Ice Cream Queen. By the end of the night, there was no doubt in my mind which team was going to win. I fear Marina’s popularity will make future Splatfests a nonstop Marina Mania. If there’s a matchup between Hugs and Poison, the latter will win if Marina is supporting it. Pearl had plenty of support expressed through in-game art this Splatfest, but when push came to shove, more people seemed to love Marina.


  • Funny, considering how Marina is depicted as being nubile and sexually available while Pearl is more juvenile and quirky… LOL

    Of course Marina’s going to be more popular with Western audiences. I guess Nintendo thought that making Marina ganguro would offset this in Japan. Completely out of touch, as usual.

  • I’d like to think i’ll vote for the thing I like most in Splatfests despite the fact that I clearly prefer Marina to Pearl.

  • Voting for the hosts is a betrayal of Splatfest. Until they are they subject of the Splatfest itself.

  • While I do agree that Marina is awesome, I’m pretty sure the reason ice-cream won over cake is because ice-cream is obviously superior to cake.
    Come at me bro. 😛

    • Cake is an all-year food, enjoyable in the heat and cold, at any time of day (ontbijtkoek is delightful) and with near boundless variations.

      Ice-cream melts too fast in the heat, is useless in the cold, and is effectively just flavoured, frozen cow juice. Nowhere there the versatility of that which sustains us throughout eternity: Cake.

      • You say cake is an all-year food? Well to me ice-cream is an anytime food.
        Day or night, Summer or Winter, I’ll enjoy ice-cream whenever. When do I feel like cake? Basically never. It’s either too moist & heavy, or too dry & crumbly. Either way I only end up eating one slice and then the rest of the cake is stale before I am able to eat it again.

  • I don’t feel like this article is safe for work. Some questionable fan art had me madly scrolling to the comments lest my coworkers start judging me

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