Honest Trailers Wrecks Alien: Covenant

Image: Supplied

If you haven't seen Alien: Covenant yet, don't bother. Watch this Honest Trailer instead - it's far, far better.

Every now and again something so disappointing comes along that it's ripe for savagery. And that's precisely the treatment that Alien: Covenant gets, from the extraneously long flute scenes, the lack of memorable characters, the constant references to everyone's wives, horrific decision making, and slipping in the same blood puddle twice.

Everyone in this film deserved to die, really.

Thank God there are better modern takes on Alien, like Alien: Isolation.

The Making of Alien: Isolation

In 2010, a group of Alien fans at Creative Assembly were given the opportunity of a lifetime. making a game set in that iconic sci-fi universe, with the full blessing of franchise owner 20th Century Fox. This wasn’t some non-canon spin-off, but a legitimate part of the Alien series. The result. one of the best horror games of recent years, as well as one of the most faithful film adaptations ever made.

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Comments

    Ill have to wait to watch the video, but i feel like for what Alien covenant is, its fine.
    Watch friday the 13th, character's have done some really dumb shit (I'm looking at you Tommy)
    Watch Elms street, dumb shit again. Even Alien (lets look at this ominous egg in a derelict spaceship with a dead alien).

    I genuinely like Alien covenant, yes Ridley Scott is removing the mystery on the xenomorphs and creating problems left, right, and centre for current,past and future films, but you cant tell me you didnt feel some joy seeing a updated recreation of similar sets of Alien and some moody-ness that was from the original.

    Last edited 09/08/17 12:57 pm

    Went into Covenant fully prepared to like it, and be wondering what the fuss was about. I've liked all the Alien movies, and AVP1 was a ton of fun (AVP2 had some awesome gore, but that's about it. I even dug Prometheus. But yeah, Covenant was a major disappointment, even with my lowered expectations. There's lots of stupid people doing stupid shit, and every time somebody new is introduced, followed by "I'll be back", then yeah. Can't believe those tropes were used and played completely straight, without so much as a 'nudge-nudge, wink-wink'.

    I love a good, bad movie, but Covenant couldn't even manage that. I'm so thankful Denis Villeneuve has charge of Blade Runner 2049.

      the marines in Aliens were far from smart, in fact they were no better than any of the other humans doing silly stuff in this film or any other Alien films. Even some of the gang in the first were pretty rubbish in the decision making.

      I'm kind of the opposite - I thought Covenant was probably the best one in the series since Aliens. Which isn't really saying much - every Alien movie since Aliens has been garbage, although Alien 3 was significantly better in its extended cut compared to its trainwreck of a theatrical version.

      But yeah, I thought Covenant was the best of a bad post-1986 lot. Certainly shits all over Prometheus and both AvP movies.

      Bob (standing in the open landing craft access hatch): "I'm going to go collect a few samples."
      Phil: "Okay...I'll just be here with my back to the open access hatch scraping what ever this is off the door"

    At least it wasn't as complete garbage as Prometheus was....

    I am thoroughly over the modern cynical humour. The Alien films may not be perfect but they have been giving me entertainment for what forty odd years now, in spite of those flaws. Because I understand the stupid Fox culture in which they have to be made under, so that it lucky we have got anything of value from within it. And i understand that just so much hard work and creativity goes into a film that is flawed to one that is flawless (phfft as if they exist).

    I see two choices 1) learn to find value in things that arent perfect, knowing full well, all the negativity will never wish that perfect film I want into being. it will NEVER exist. So I learn to appreciate what we have not pine for what we dont OR 2) just crap on the hard work of others, and spend years constantly repeating the same complaints, forgetting how to like anything. 'Show me where the bad movie touched you' approach to life. Pass.

      I agree, all i ever think when I see people taking such glee in generalising things and insulting a lack of perfection is how sorry i feel for them being unable to see nuance.

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