Terrible news, everyone: Professional doof McCree, a fake cowboy who can't even quote a more famous fake cowboy correctly, got hot. The Overwatch community is struggling with this sudden and confusing development.
Image credit: Blizzard.
Yesterday, Blizzard updated Overwatch with a new Summer Games event that includes a bunch of themed skins, among them a lifeguard skin for McCree that represents everything both great and terrible about his character:
Great: Abs. Terrible: Poorly dyed Owen Wilson hair, popsicle stick in mouth, "SAMF" belt, "High Tide" lanyard, and so on. Of course a middle-aged man who cosplays as a cowboy on the daily would even manage to doof up his hottest look. Of course he would.
And yet, one could make an argument that he even upstages Widowmaker, an ice-cold queen who only accepts tribute in the form of fan thirst, here:
For myself and others, it's a conundrum. Is McCree sexy now? Is that even possible? And what does that say about all of us? If we accept that we're collectively attracted to McCree, even if only on a physical basis, who do we become? Fan opinions are divided:
Jeff Overwatch: and here's mccree's new summer skin
Mid-Life Crisis Owen Wilson pic.twitter.com/vX8He4FM4b
— smelly balls bob (@oodlenoodle_) August 8, 2017
blizzard: horny widowmaker fans have we got a treat for you
blizz: well, mccree fans, unfortunately we just ruined everything good abotu him
— kaze @ otakon D08 (@rokudo) August 8, 2017
Me: the mcsrooge skin is the worst mccree skin
Blizz: u are little baby, watch thi
— Horse (bottom) (@tanyart) August 8, 2017
i need everyone to leave mccree alone he just got hired at hollister n is going thru a phase
— weedowmaker here (@spacegay1993) August 8, 2017
— ?JUICYMCCREE? (@Axelsaywhat) August 9, 2017
feel like every time McCree gets an update it's jeph saying "ok u fools , try to jack off to This" & response is always "challenge accepted"
— titityy (@vageege) August 8, 2017
haha im a lifeguard y'all what's up. what's going on. please stop drowning yourselves im h
— McCree (@mccree_txt) August 8, 2017
And from a Reddit thread titled "Here's what McCree's skin should have been":
Bonus: Nobody can figure out what "SAMF" stands for:
yeah there's a lot of weird unanswered things in overwatch... but what I wanna know is...
WHAT DOES SAMF MEAN!!!!! pic.twitter.com/sBpJGWftO6
— ? Mabel ? (@netherwoodwitch) August 9, 2017
pls tell me mccree's SAMF belt buckle means "SALTY ASS MOTHER FUCKER"
— ? hino ? (@hinokit) August 8, 2017
Sunburnt Ass Motherfcker
SAMF = Sad Ass Mother Fucker
McCree has depression at the beach confirmed pic.twitter.com/tA6YO8N6ia
— ✨Di✨ (@GhostAlebrije) August 8, 2017
samf Really stands for
find my horse i cant remember where i parked it and now i cant get home
— mass effect 3liza (@editraynor) August 8, 2017
me: samf stands for stupid ass motherfcuker
mccree, crying: it's sad you bitch
— Hanzo✨ (@dragons_txt) August 8, 2017
Sad Ass MotherFucker pic.twitter.com/v7HNaE3Iuw
— Tim (@unimplied) August 8, 2017
In my opinion, though, it's all really quite simple:
still don't Make
me want to Fuck mccree pic.twitter.com/UhZsct4FSm
— nathan grayson (@Vahn16) August 8, 2017