Shark Dating Simulator Is Crude But Funny

Have you ever watched Jaws, saw the shark, and thought it was kinda hot? Well you’re in luck, because now you can live out your aquatic apex predator lovin’ dreams in Shark Dating Simulator XL. Be warned — it is definitely NSFW.

Screenshot of Shark Chan in her partial human form, taken from the Steam webpage.

In this comedic visual novel, you play as a scuba school graduate who has to explore the wreckage of the boat The Golden Fin for your boss, Marina, who is a “fish scientist”. You are supposed to find talking fish, but when you dive down to the wreckage, you end up meeting a talking great white shark named Shark Chan! Your ultimate goal in this game is to win the heart of this shark-woman.

As with many visual novels, your dialogue choices impact how well you do in the game. If you treat Shark Chan nicely, you acquire “balls” which you can use in a mini game at the end. In order to sleep with Shark Chan at the end of the game, you need to score 180 points in a ping-pong-esque mini game. You drop the balls in order to break up all the little heart bubbles. Depending on how you have treated her, Shark Chan may give you more balls for being sweet, or take away some of your balls if you’ve been a jerk to her.

I played through the game about four different times to try to trigger different endings and results. Each of my playthroughs were relatively short, with my first being 10-15 minutes and then my subsequent tries being around 8-10.

The game’s humour pokes fun at Marina, the protagonist’s boss, and her large breasts. Within minutes of starting the game, you have the option to ask Marina if her breasts are real. Thankfully the game doesn’t solely rely on sexist humour, but it it does remain grotesque and somewhat clumsy. You encounter a sea slug who screams, “SUCK MAH BALLS!” The main character is a bit of a bumbling doofus. At one point, Shark Chan tells him that a restaurant they’re meeting at for a date is “half a nautical mile” from her home. “If only I knew what the fuck a nautical mile was,” he comments. When Shark Chan says, “OK Senpai, let’s get down to business,” he responds with, “To defeat the Huns?” It’s a bit over-the-top, but, apart from the stereotypical portrayal and treatment of women in this game, some of it made me laugh.

The game is still in early access, and there is currently only one playable route, but the developer, Conan McPhee, plans to add more datable sharks in the future. He also mentions that he will likely update the graphics and improve some of the content based on players’ feedback. For now, you can grab it on Steam for $US0.99 ($1.25).