What's The Worst Biscuit?

Image: Simply Served

Walking into the office kitchen this morning, people discovered that we have way too many assorted creams. Which is a problem, because assorted creams are the hottest of garbage.

Apart from being a pack of biscuits that doesn't have a) Scotch Fingers or b) chocolate Scotch Fingers, assorted creams also has the worst biscuit by a country mile: Kingstons.

They're terrible. The chocolate cream is garbage. The biscuit goes rock hard after a little while and the texture isn't as good as a Butternut Snap or a gingernut.

Hell, even Iced VoVo's are head and shoulders above Kingstons.

Of course, as we quickly discovered, people are serious about their biscuits. So let's use this week's Off Topic to settle things.

What's the worst biscuit?


    assorted creams also has the worst biscuit by a country mile: Kingstons

    FAKE NEWS!!!!!

      Kingstons are the best! They're always the first to go in my office.

        So how are you enjoying working in the retirement village?

          How are we to know? We don't have your experience!


      I know, right?

      I think I just lost all respect for Kotaku for besmirching the holy goodness that are Kingstons.

    Anything Sugar Free

    Kingstons are my favourite!

      Kingstons and monte carlos

        Kingstons and monte carlos and shortbread creams

        My 2 faves too. If we ever meet we should make out. :D

          You have 2 others to choose from.


        I blame these two biscuits on my fatness

    How dare you sir! Kingstons are a gift bestowed upon us by the GODS!!!!!

    we have a running joke about orange creams being the worst. buut my shame is low and a biscuit is a biscuit. so after i have eaten all the delta creams, monte carlos, shortbread creams, kingstons (we refer to them as the old peoples biscuit) i will still eat the orange cream.

    on a side note, because delta creams are better than oreos (pseudo australian vs unashamed american) why are they so hard to find in shops like coles?

    I generally don't eat biscuits but I can say Tim Tams always make me feel sick. I can't think of any other biscuit that does that to me.

      Might be to do with Arnott's constantly changing the recipe to "comply with Australian food standards".

      If that is the case, I hope they switch to the UK standards. At least they require real sugar to be used instead of freaking corn syrup!

      Seriously, get the Australia and UK version of a Kit-Kat and you will find there is a difference not just in the ingredients but also in the taste.

        That's got nothing to do with corn syrup. HFCS is a product subsidised in the US. Here we grow cane sugar.

        As an ex-pat Brit constantly importing the chocolate of my childhood, I can tell you the main difference I've found - other than the taste/creaminess - is the melting point. I suspect that's a key factor in 'adjusting' the recipe from the UK to Australia.

    Orange Creams are the pretty comfortable winner here surely.

      I feel like they could be redeemed if they had the same biscuit as the delta creams - going for a choc-orange combo - but as it stands, yea. Hands down worst of the cream biscuits.

        Way ahead of you - take one of each, and alternate your bites. Sure, makes you look a bit weird, but the result speaks for itself.

      Accurate. In our office they’re the ones that get chucked in the bin just so we can open a pack with some edible bikkies. Orange Creams are poo.

    Any generic brand shortbread. You might as well throw sugar on cardboard and call it a biscuit.

    Choc chip chunk extra choc chip with more choc chips.
    A basic choc chip is ok but when they start loading up on huge amounts of the chip chips they are terrible.
    I'm also not a big fan of malt biscuits but I sorry Dippa, chocolate coated scotch fingers are the devils food. Terrible compound chocolate on a nice biscuit, such a waste.

    Failing to recognise Monte Carlos as the best biscuit should be grounds for immediate commitment.

    Delta Creams are ok too.

    Just about any biscuit sold at just about any coffee shop that does not make their own biscuits. All I can ever taste is too much sugar. In fact, I'd like to ask our fast food, cafe and catering industries to lay off the sugar a bit. Let some of the other flavours have a chance, would ya?!

      I know the feeling. You name it and the ingredients have been tampered with to reduce cost.

      While not a biscuit, the same problem is present. I used to love Ice Break flavoured milk.

      But over time, that made the thing so sweet if easily gave me horrendous heart burn that sometimes required medications to take care of.

      They also have a "stripped" variety with "less sugar" yet it tastes the same as what the original flavour did.

      Again, while not biscuits I once found some UK Kit-Kats at Woolies. No joke, not only was the taste different but so were the ingredients.

    I'm struggling to think of a 'bad' biscuit. They all have their moment, as far as I can recall, and I've eaten a lot of mediocre biscuits at offices, church morning teas and playgroups throughout my years. I think a badly-made shortbread biscuit might be the 'worst' due to the blandness combined with the low-butter crumbly texture. Good shortbreads are great, though. Even digestives like the old wheat-meal biscuits are great with a cup of tea.

    Just be thankful you actually get biscuits at work!

    Tic Tocs are actually worthless. Actually, they're worse, because most people (myself included) have (had) fond memories of them. Go ahead, have one today and learn the horrible truth. It's like someone added equal parts chalk and sugar, gooped it on the worst biscuit base they could find.

      They used to be OK. Don't know what changes but the Tic Tocs today are not the same as those in the past.

      I also used to love Country Cheese and Chedz crackers. They are not even the same colour anymore (a very pail yellow) and have virtually no flavour.

        Country Cheese was good enough to be a meal, back in the good old days.

        *Looks to the upper left, smiles and softly shakes head

          Wouldn't call them a meal, but them with some butter and Vegemite was a good snack for me when I started working from home.

          Certainly stopped me snacking until the next real meal.

    assorted creams also has the worst biscuit by a country mile: Kingstons.

    Excuse you. Are you trying to garner hate, like Mark with his anti fairy bread-ness?

    at work we have the classic assorted, the ones that always get left are the butternut snaps. i dont mind them personally, and my least favourite is the shortbread cream.
    my best of all time would have to be chocolate coated scotchfinger, i can polish a whole packet quite easily without too much thought. i dont end up feeling to well though.

    Alex Walker you are a failure of a person.

    Insulting the humble Kingston, its the god damn crown jewel of the assorted creams.

    You've sat in that chair too long, Alex. You're turning into Serrels.

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