You Know What They Should Have Done With Mario Bros.?

Did you know that my uncle Billy Rogers used to review arcade games on a public access show that I hope and pray no one watching this video actually believes I want you to think was real? Well, he did! (Seriously, he didn’t.) He had a lot of neat ideas for how Nintendo could have made a great sequel to Mario Bros. Here’s his video review, recovered from 1983.

Billy had some brilliant ideas about the future of Mario, I must say.

The big question (not exactly asked in the video) is “Whoa, should Nintendo legit do a modern Pac-Man CE-like remake of Mario Bros. with ultra-tight esports balance, and online multiplayer?” I sincerely believe the answer is “Probably!” I mean, it’s practically a one-screen, one-on-one MOBA. Think about it. Talk about it.

A port of the original arcade version of Mario Bros. is available on the Nintendo Switch right now, by the way. You can play a heated two-player match on the go! I have it on my Switch, in my backpack. I look forward to my economy class seat-mate on my flight to Chicago next month asking me, “Wait, why can’t I jump on the turtles?”


  • So…. management told you guys at short notice that Youtube revenue targets have been added to your kpi’s?

    I want to believe that there’s a fair and logical explanation for this.

    Also, if you’re so unconvinced in the “comedy” angle of your vid that you have to preemptively state that it’s satirical then you should probs think twice about posting it….

  • Im normally very accepting of comedy, even bad comedy, but that?…. THAT!? WTF did i just watch? Man im sorry, but im high as and even i couldn’t get through 2 minutes of that without wanting to stomp on my phone. I never have the urge to comment on anything, but Holy Batsignal Batman there is no nice way to explain how bad that is. There just isn’t a word for it.

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