Loot boxes! They’re all anyone can talk about these days. But what if we didn’t have to talk about loot boxes. What if there were other types of boxes we could talk about instead.
I wish we could talk about these boxes, and the wonderful secrets they could contain.
Hoot Boxes: A box full of owls.
Moot Boxes: Contain points already made in a discussion.
Toot Boxes: Just cute little model steam trains.
Coot Boxes: Old men who are upset that football players are taking a knee.
Zoot Boxes: Loads of 1940s suits.
Soot Boxes: A mass of impure carbon particles resulting from the incomplete combustion of hydrocarbons.
Foot Boxes: Also known as shoes. These boxes would contain shoes.
Root Boxes: A 1/8 chance of getting Questlove.
Lute Boxes: For Troubadours that don’t want to grind to unlock.
Also:
In closing: we’re fine with boxes, they just need better stuff.
Comments
10 responses to “Here Are Some Alternatives To Loot Boxes”
Grade A shitpost Luke.
Another quality post from Kotaku’s finest.
Mmm, This is what I come to imgur for! …waaaaiiit a minute!
I feel like there should be more zoot suits in video games.
Is there a loot bot that I can buy for you to not write another article?
Um… Maybe I’m showing my age, but the Moot box should be removed as this refers to female genitalia. Good pun though with Moot and Box together…..
lol i always spelled that “mut” for some reason.. um.. when i needed to write it down? I’m not sure how often that would have been, even in 1980’s rural Australia. There you go.
Although I guess that could be pronounced m-uh-t. As in a cross breed dog.
Whereas moot is m-ooh-t like “m-yu-te” minus the Y.. As in it’s a moot point.
Damn you English and your six ways to pronounce things spelled the same.
However bless you internet for allowing this conversation to take place twenty odd years after I would’ve said that word last.
Is it that obvious I’m from rural Australia?? I remember the cries of boys yelling out to girls in Shepparton – “Show us your moot”. Classy.
I reckon it’s been 20 years since that even entered my mind too.
Kudos to your moot point! Penis joke by accident? 🙂
That’s what happens when you assume regional slang is much more universal than it is, though most colloquialisms do travel quite far, they’ll also often find time as a factor.
That said I’ve also heard coot used to refer to the same thing, toot as a bum and all aussies understand what we use the word root for. I think people just like using the -oot sound, but at a certain point these are all real words you can’t expect people to stop using them because of a small group using alternative meanings =P
That was a country wide occurrence, and equally as classtacular everywhere it happened lol.
lololol but no penis joke! Amazingly for me.
Because i still read “moot” differently, to me written like that it rhymes with “shoot” or “hoot” rather than “foot” or “soot” 🙂 lol damnit English what the hell.