The Australian NBN Roast: Watch It Here (If Your Internet Is Fast Enough)

Video: "Copper, copper, punch it in the face! NBN Network you're a national disgrace!"

As one commenter suggested: Watch this video at 240p for the best experience - not that you likely have any choice.

NBN Advertising Sucks And The ACCC Is On The Warpath

Over the last few months, the ACCC has been telling RSPs to ensure that their ads accurately represent what sorts of speeds customers can realistically expect from their NBN connection. But this isn't a new problem - anyone with an ADSL connection knows it's a game of roulette guessing what sorts of networks speeds to you'll get depending on proximity to an exchange, the quality of the copper and time of day. However, the ACCC has put RSPs on notice, telling them that misleading ads will see them come down hard.

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NBN Releases Quarterly Earning Results, Says It Will 'Improve'

"We have demonstrated our ability to scale and deliver, and with the same determination we seek to further improve the end-to-end experience for households and businesses, from migration to use of the network," NBN CEO Bill Morrow says.

Shadow Communications Minister Michelle Rowland, on the other hand, says NBN's Q1 results - which show $405 million in revenue - are "quite disappointing."

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Telstra Couldn't Hit Advertised NBN Speeds, Is Compensating Thousands Of Customers

Telstra is offering compensation to 42,000 customers after the telco promoted and offered NBN speeds that couldn't actually be achieved in the real world.

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Cheers to RobComRobCom for the laughs, which led to cries.

I managed to score fibre to the basement in my apartment a couple of years back, so I only have to deal with a bit of copper. I know I'm one of the lucky ones though - how's NBN going at your place? If you have it, which technology did you end up with? If you're still waiting, how long until you get connected? (You can check here, if you don't already know).


    I think I'm still on track for late 2018/2019 at this point, going to be a race to see if my house is the last to be connected in the country at this point, most of the surrounding suburbs already have it to!

      You don't need fast internet speeds. Even if you got it you wouldn't be using it.

        I'm sure by the time I get it the infrastructure is going to be congested to the point my peasant ADSL is faster ;)

    Even better with closed captions turn on.

    I'm in an affluent inner-brisbane suburb, with laughably unstable adsl. I'm due for nbn in 2019, it will apparently be hfc, and i don't have a current choice of cable internet (my house has a dish).

    It's just the worst.

      I feel your pain but on another note I am glad affluent suburbs in capital cities are getting the same roll out as others. It is almost a lottery.

      Last edited 27/11/17 7:11 pm

    When will we get connected? HAH, never!

    Last edited 27/11/17 1:41 pm

    My current ADSL is cheaper and faster with more data so why would i switch?

      Yeah that's my current problem...

      Why upgrade to a more expensive, slower and inconsistent connection?!
      My parents call me every two-three days to tell me their internet is down.

      The price doesn't change on NBN connections though or at least they don't change on Telstra/Optus they just change the technology and give you a new modem.

      Because you will be forced to
      once NBN comes to the area, if you dont switch within 18 months your old service is disconnected

        Yep that's exactly what they said. Basically we may not get you today but we'll get you.

    Comedy skit I want made...

    Dark room full of people on computers (go for stereotypical hacker).
    Hacker Leader: Ok, lets do this! You all have your targets, now break that encryption and get us access!
    Hacker #1: I have China, I'm in!
    Hacker #2: Germany! I have Germany!
    Hacker #3: USA! USA! I just breached North America!
    Hacker Leader: Great job everybody. Australia? Hows that coming?
    Hacker #4: *holds up a 'wait a moment finger'

    cut scene

    The dark room is almost empty now, just the hacker leader leaning over hacker #4.
    From outside the room a party can be heard.

    cut scene

    Hacker #4 is crying now. The Hacker Boss enters the room, the lights are now on, the sounds of the party are still going on.
    Leader: Have you tried turning it off and then back on again?

    Face it, our shitty NBN is a national defense strategy. You can't hack us, ain't nothing getting into our 'two-tins-and-a-bit-o-string' network.

    I'm getting FTTN in June 2019. I can only hope that FTTN technology is not available anymore in 1.5 years

    Last edited 27/11/17 11:51 pm

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