True fact: 99 per cent of video game characters in the year 2017 are dads, and anyone else can be a dad if they really put their mind to it. In that spirit, I decided to ask a bunch of people at Double Fine's fifth Day of the Devs event in San Francisco which video game character they'd want as their dad.
The results were surprising. Quite a few people said Mario, even though he could easily possess them with his body-snatching devil hat once the bell tolls for his own mortal coil, and also he's kind of a shit dad to Baby Mario (if indeed Baby Mario is his son, something that's never been clear to me).
Multiple people also picked Joel from The Last Of Us, and that just seems like it will end poorly no matter how you slice it. If you're his real kid, you die very quickly, and if not, well, enjoy fielding some super weird emotional issues!
Lastly, Double Fine's Tim Schafer went with the King Of All Cosmos from Katamari Damacy, so if you're reading this, Tim Schafer's therapist, you've got some fun stuff to talk about this week.