Dear NBN, That Is A Very Old Video Game Controller

This is a story that starts out weird, and gets a whole lot weirder.

Let's begin with this tweet.

This is a tweet about an advertisement from the NBN, about "gaming online in a whole new way". Presumably we're talking about how fast internet will TRANSFORM YOUR ONLINE EXPERIENCE.

Okay. Cool. Fair enough.

But yes, as the tweet points out, that's a pretty old controller. Looks like a Dualshock 3 at first glance. A controller that came out in 2006. 11 years ago.

11 years ago.

Folks, your PlayStation 3 online experience is about to be changed forever.

But the story gets better.

Check this out:

Syama Mishra found the original. The image used in this NBN advertisement isn't a Dualshock 3, it looks like a Dualshock 2 (a 17 year old controller) photoshopped to look like a Dualshock 3 (an 11 year old controller). They've removed the cable and added a USB port. Also worth of note: the massive gap beneath the controller where the girl's torso should be.

(Update: some people think it might actually be an original Dualshock, it's tricky to tell.)

Oh dear.

Hardly the best look when you're trying to market the NBN as cutting edge technology.

Perhaps the craziest part of this story: Scott Rhodie, who made the original tweet calling out the ad, actually ran digital communications for the NBN from 2011 until 2013. Once upon a time he'd be the person typing out this tweet:

Obviously it's not a huge deal, just a badly put together image but symbolic perhaps of a tough couple of years for the NBN.


Comments

    After the success of Nintendos mini retros did the NBN Co. leak the Playstation One Classic Mini?

    Makes sense to use a controller that's as old as the network.

      There's copper in them controller cables.

    While we'd all like a world class state of the art controller, it just isn't cost effective. Especially when most people are only going to use it to play Candy Crush.

    So instead we've decided to buy Sony's stock of DualShock 2 controllers and remediate them by cutting off the cords and soldering on USB ports (we considered using micro USB ports, but figured mini USB would be good enough for most users). These controllers will do what 95% of the population want, but allow us to deliver them faster, sooner, cheaper, and less expensively. And at a lower cost than Labor's controllers.

    Last edited 03/01/18 2:21 pm

      I so happy and angry at this comment lol

      Pack up the internet kids, we Have comment of the year only 3 days into 2018.

      I have not logged in to comment on Kotaku for a few years now but I had to tonight just so I could give an up vote for this. This will be hard to top :)

    Aww man, can't wait to play SOCOM II with a decent connection!

    I pretty much have no sympathy for NBN Co since they started attacking critics with half-truths and misdirection. They should just shut up and let the government answer for it. They're only building what they were told to build, after all. But trying to pretend that it's working as it should and that it's users are metaphorically 'holding it wrong' has infuriated me.

    Frankly, it's broken because it was intended to be broken. It's what Abbott demanded and the nation voted for (not that Labor presented themselves up as a viable option - the NBN was one of the only things they offered that the electorate really liked).

    The big giveaway was that the R2 and L2 buttons aren't like the PS3's squishy marshmallow buttons.

    I thought it was a PS1 controller at the start but the usb port did throw me off, glad to see it came full circle in the end.

    Isn't that a PSone controller? Like, an original DualShock?

    PS2 controllers were black.

      My thoughts exactly. This is a PS1 controller.

      Yea, pretty sure we left the grey coloured controllers behind with the PS1.
      My initial reaction was "that's a PS1 controller" but then had a double take on the USB port haha.

      BTW, the USB port is not a micro usb either, so its definitely not a PS4 controller.

    When I looked at that top image, I thought "hang on, that's not a PS3 controller, that's a PS2 controller" because of how the R2 and L2 buttons had plastic fully around them (the PS3 controller doesn't have this), but then I noticed the USB port and thought "huh...that's strange..." Nice to see I'm not going crazy and it was indeed a PS2 controller just with some photoshop touchup.

    When I first glanced at that picture, I was like 'Those L2/R2 buttons aren't analogue triggers, thats gotta be a DualShock 2', then, on further reflection, I thought 'But its grey. Wasn't the DualShock 2 primarily black?'

    There might have been grey editions of the DualShock 2, I'm not sure, but I have a STRONG suspicion the pictured controller is actually an ORIGINAL DualShock, taking it all the way back to 1997! Brilliant!

    What I find amazing is that they clearly knew it was the wrong controller, but not know enough that merely photoshopping the cable out and a USB in wouldn’t fool the target audience of this particular campaign. It was somehow thought easier to tinker (badly) with an old photo than take a new one with a console from this decade (hell, enlist a couple of people you know for $50 for one photo). Hilarious incompetence ...

      They did a whole bunch of extra shit and came up with an inferior result that made them look unprofessional?

      Colour me shocked.

    that looks like the SNES30 Pro. Not exactly but similar.

    lmao even if it wasnt a photoshop job of a PS1 controller there are still tons of people playing PS3 online and that still requires a decent connection.

    Last edited 03/01/18 4:05 pm

    Oh common guys I was hoping for much more sass in this comment section. I'm a bit disappointed. Urghh, something like :

    " The Australian NBN, butter smooth gaming * (*on your ps2, plugged into your tv, with no internet connection)."
    or
    " With the kind of speeds you get on the NBN, the only gaming you'll be doing will be on the ps2. "

    orrr

    " The new NBN, we know how much you love retro technology so we've built it right into your internet!"

    Okay they're not great, but it's something!

      Another one,

      "Lighting fast speeds from cutting edge technology of the year 2000"

      " The 1990's called, .. and they're super jealous of your fast internet!!"

    Dear NBN, SWITCH MY FUCKING STREET ON YA CUNTS! Its been almost a year since the town went live

    Is no one else going to mention that the other kid is holding a completely different controller despite looking at the same spot?

    The age of spin. Honestly, given the reality that most people wouldn’t look twice at that photo, @jamesh above comment seems almost prescient.

    Lol, this is hilariously ironic for the NBN!

    It's actually an original dualshock controller for the PSX which make it more like 20 years old, I was pretty confused by the first photo also. The dualshock 2 had this written in blue on the top near where the cable exits the controller. The DS2 also released in black with the ps2, less likely to be a DS2 for this reason.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieYEuh4Tit8

    The NBN is a national disgrace making us a backwater and regressive country. Totally embarrassing clusterfuck.
    This just hammers that point home a million times.
    FUCK YOU NBN.

      On the contrary - fuck you Liberal/National Coalition for nerfing the NBN, and fuck you Australian public for being so gullible.

    Surely it must have actually been more difficult and expensive to find an OG DualShock and photshop the cable out (and the USB in) than it would have been to just use a PS4 / XB1 controller in the first place?

    This seems deliberate, like some kind of cry for help from someone deep inside NBN Co. Like those notes from sweatshop workers that occasionally find their way into clothes. "Please help us! They're forcing us to build a network that belongs in the mid-1990's!"

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