Genital Jousting’s New Story Mode Lets You Play As A Penis With Problems

By now you may have seen Genital Jousting’s party mode, where players compete to penetrate their friends (with consent, of course). The game finally came out of early access, and the full release includes a story mode that works way better than it should. It’s kind of like The Stanley Parable, but with dicks. (NSFW warning!)

While party mode is mostly silly fun, story mode is surprisingly depressing and real. At one point, the tutorial tells you that no one will ever love you. Later, when the game truly starts, you’re tasked with wading through the mundane life of John, a schlong who can’t figure out how to talk to his crush.

The game asks you to undergo everyday experiences like taking a shower, except everything feels surreal because you’re a literal dick who can suck things directly into your butt.

You can watch the first 11 minutes of Genital Jousting’s story mode above. May the wonders of video games never cease.


  • Is there a word for being disgusted and intrigued at the same time. I mean those sound effects.

  • I watched about 20 minutes of Brokeback Mountain once….not for me.

    A love story about a man who’s a dick with balls and an anus in love with the girl from work who’s also a dick with balls and an anus? Apparently not a problem!

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