Final Fantasy 7 Is Going To Kill Me

This is the ninth episode of my ongoing video series scrutinising the tiniest, most minuscule, most arguably insignificant differences of tone and nuance between the Japanese original script and the official English translation of the 1997 role-playing game Final Fantasy 7.

As in previous episodes, we'll unearth scraps of evidence that Aerith and her "first love" Zack might not have, in the legal sense, been bedtime buddies. As in previous episodes, we'll delve into multiple examples wherein Barret is far more psychologically nuanced in Japanese than in English. As in previous episodes, we'll encounter a few lines of Japanese dialogue that were flat out not translated into English.

We'll also talk about first-person pronouns, one of the most fascinating fundamental aspects of the Japanese language. The character of Red XIII uses an adult pronoun (watashi) when talking to the other main characters, though he uses a childish pronoun (oira) back in his hometown of Cosmo Canyon. This is a fun topic.

I'm not going to lie to you: I am starting to lose my mind making these videos. This one is 28 minutes long. In it I reference Japanese enka singer Miyako Harumi. Here's one of my favourite singer-songwriters, Yumi Tanimura, covering the song linked in the previous sentence. It's wonderful. I paraphrase mathematician Nicholas Nassim Taleb. I do a (good?) Solid Snake impression for exactly 1.466 seconds, because I'm so tired of people saying I sound like Solid Snake that I decided to show you what Solid Snake actually sounds like. At one point, I accidentally realise which Final Fantasy 7 character is most like myself. Elsewhere in the video, I recommend you this Korean hip-hop song from 2000, which liberally samples the background music of Final Fantasy 7's Cosmo Canyon, and I now feel extreme terror that someone is actually going to listen to that song and suffer brain damage and it's too late to cut that part out of the video and re-export it. Finally, I will tell you about this guy in my university dorm. Uh, I don't exactly remember, though I think my mum is in this video, too.

So, hey, if you're That Guy in the comments who is going to ask for a "text version" of this video, know there is a non-zero chance I would literally die typing that text.


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