The Correct Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Won This Weekend’s Splatfest

The Correct Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Won This Weekend’s Splatfest

Illustration: Nintendo (Twitter)

This weekend, Splatoon 2 players ended a multi-week popularity contest over the best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. And unsurprisingly, they chose the objectively best turtle in the end, Donatello.

Donnie, the brains of the team who can also kick righteous arse, won 2-1 over his brother-in-shell, Raphael. While he lost the popular vote, he won the electoral equivalent, as his team won more Splatfest matches than their Raphael counterparts.

Clearly, those who know Donnie is best are also, coincidentally, way better at Splatoon 2 than their less knowledgeable friends.

Really, I hope that more debates are settled in the ink-soaked arenas of Splatoon. It seems a more wholesome way to determine true victors rather than flinging 280-character insults at one another.

If Superman vs. Batman ever becomes a Splatfest, you can catch me online ready to dunk a bunch of Kal-El loving nerds in the viscous goop of Moray Towers or Inkblot Art Academy.


  • You know every splatfest is rigged right?
    Some in the Splatoon 2 communities choose the less popular vote specifically to enable it to win. Happens most splatfests. Least popular vote wins.

    • It’s about a 60-40 split for unpopular winning, one-sided but not hugely so. It makes sense that the less popular team would be more likely to win the battles, as the better players are more likely to end up in a match together than be more widely dispersed amongst worse players.

  • FINALLY. I have been beating the Donatello drum since I was a little kid young enough to get called knackerbags. Donnie for life. Real Turtles wear purple.

  • Donatello was always the best in the arcade game. He had crazy reach with his weapon. Amongst my mates no-one wanted to play Raphael, as his sai were little better than fighting unarmed, although I recall you could throw them.

    • Came here to say exactly that, and the overpowered spin that I vaguely remember him having, granted it has been about 2 decades since I’ve played it.

      Side note, I am now able to use decades to not how long it has been since I’ve played some games. I can likely say that Age of Empires, Magic Carpet, Loderunner, Paradroid and Command & Conquer are all games that are on that list as well.

      • Aye, we are the grand old men/women of the gaming world!

        When I were just a wee lad, we used these things called ‘paddles’ to control a video game. No, no, not the kind you use to propel a canoe. And we had this thing called a Vectrex, into which you could insert various overlays, which would change the colour of the screen! It was magic I tell you!

  • It’s clearly Mikey, followed (very) closely by Raph, then Donnie, then last is always Leo.

    • Must not downvote somebody who is so blatantly wrong. It isn’t their fault

    • While I agree with Mikey (Totally not biased towards him being named Michael) but Raph was the worst. His weapons are nothing special and all he does is get into arguments with the others, bitch about having to listen to Leo, and then whenever he does lead, he fucks things up.

      Raph is the worst.

  • What the hell is that thing in the picture? That doesn’t look any kind of turtle, ninja or not, that I’ve ever seen.

    • The only proper Ninja Turtle wears an enormously heavy costume made by Jim Henson’s Creature Shop and has a face radio-controlled by nearby puppeteers.

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