Please Don’t Buy The Game I Released Two Years Ago

Please Don’t Buy The Game I Released Two Years Ago

Fortnite gets golf carts and portals, a No Man’s Sky dictator says he’s actually role-playing, the popular Chapo Trap House podcast starts a Twitch channel to get political about games, and Octopath Traveller is here. It’s all on today’s Kotaku XP, our weekly video series about hot game topics.

I gotta say, playing Octopath Traveller on a rickety New York subway sure brings back memories of playing The Final Fantasy Legend on Game Boy in the back of my dad’s big Dodge Ram van during a road trip to Pennsylvania in October of 1990.

I never had a problem with carsickness until I started riding the New York subway every morning. I used to be able to read the tiniest text off the worst screen — I mean, I beat Final Fantasy Legend on that Game Boy in the back of that van during that long road trip in 1990.

Though the Nintendo Switch’s screen is better than any Game Boy’s ever was, the traction of the New York subway is miraculously more rambunctious even than my dad’s old American-made van, and seriously, he shoulda pushed that van into a lake the day he bought it. Unfortunately, he bought it in Kansas, where there are no lakes.

The New York subway feels like it’s constantly rolling over and crushing head-of-lettuce-sized rocks. Or human skulls. It’s as comfortable as winning the Kentucky Derby on a three-legged horse. My eyes were playing ping-pong with the little tiny menu text in that game.

Well, just when I feel as though I’m getting too old to have sentimental experiences with games, this discomfort while Octopathing — coupled with the game’s uncanny resemblance to SaGa games — so strongly recalled my Final Fantasy Legend road trip that the game glued itself permanently to my brain.

It turns out that Octopath Traveller’s battle system is exactly the sort of thing I want to do on a train.

So the curse is lifted: I’ve owned my Nintendo Switch for going on a year and a half, and finally, Octopath Traveller has persuaded me to start taking it out on the subway every day.

Hear me talk a little bit more about Octopath Traveller in this video here!

Also hear me speak in quite sombre tones about a special occasion: Yesterday was the two-year anniversary of the release of my video game, VIDEOBALL. For four minutes at the end of this week’s Kotaku XP, I’ll do my best to persuade you to never buy it, even though it’s the best game I’ve ever played.

I’m allowed to say it’s the best game I’ve ever played, by the way. Why would I have made it if I didn’t like it?


The Cheapest NBN 1000 Plans

Looking to bump up your internet connection and save a few bucks? Here are the cheapest plans available.

At Kotaku, we independently select and write about stuff we love and think you'll like too. We have affiliate and advertising partnerships, which means we may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. BTW – prices are accurate and items in stock at the time of posting.

Comments


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *