RIP Luigi (1983-2018)

Luigi Mario, best known to friends and family as Luigi, died yesterday at the age of 35. He is survived by his fraternal twin brother, Mario, and his son, Waluigi.

Born and raised in Flatbush, Brooklyn, Luigi had worked as a plumber, a tennis player, a ghost hunter, a doctor, a golfer, a martial artist, a basketball player and a race kart driver. He was taller than his brother, yet often lived in Mario’s shadow, a heartbreaking irony that would haunt Luigi for the entirety of his short life.

Although Luigi was often called a coward, his accomplishments were so vast that the world celebrated his 30th birthday by declaring 2013 the Year of Luigi, a time of joy, honour and worldwide peace. Most countries celebrated the Year of Luigi by holding festivals in his honour, and many have argued that it marked the final moments of happiness in the modern era.

The following year showed us a darker side of Luigi, as he grew angry and vengeful, becoming best known for his horrible stare. Friends and family members point out that he never quite recovered after the Year of Luigi, which he viewed as the peak of his career.

Luigi’s life was tragically cut short late yesterday while he was exploring a haunted castle and ran into a ghastly incarnation of Death, who cut the soul out of the plumber’s body with a scythe. He is now dead.

Funeral arrangements for Luigi will be announced in the coming days.


Comments

    Nasty. Really fucking nasty. Why would they do this? 'Let's freak the shit out of a bunch of kids (and even adults) who love our characters.'

    What a bunch of pearl-clutching nonsense. Anything else is worth more time worrying over than the millionth time a nintendo character has been ghostified.

    Did richie rich ruin children when he died and became casper? Come on!

      Have bit more fucking respect, this is Luigi we're talking about

        I hear what you're saying, but all it sounds like is "Wah, Luigi."

          Can't tell if this is a pun or you meant to reference the purple skinny guy

            I can't tell if you meant to provide the same option twice or I'm missing a different pun.

      Are you talking about the above comment or the article, cause the article is purely satire, no pearl clutching in sight.

        Yeah, it was a reply to the comment, but something went kotaku with the reply function.

        I am well aware that it's satire, and i parsed the above comment for sarcasm but it weirdly seemed genuine.

        I managed to squeeze the richie rich conspiracy in there though, so i hope it was obvious which side i came down on.

    I am really confused. Guess I better go find out what all this is about

      Okay, watched the direct, now it makes sense

    Luigi Mario, best known to friends and family as Luigi, died yesterday at the age of 35. He is survived by his fraternal twin brother, Mario, and his son, Waluigi.

    No mention of his daughter? For shame!

    One down and the rest of Nintendo's uninspired and dated roster of very, very tired characters remain...Come on scythe, keep the cull coming!!

    What the fuck?! Luigi's is dead after his soul got slashed away by the Grim Reaper himself called Death?!
    Come on people Luigi has more upcoming games to appear so for fuck's sake he cannot be dead he is still alive and he's got more games appearing both later this year and next year and they include the GameCube remake of Luigi's Mansion for the Nintendo 3DS and Mario and Luigi Bowser's Inside Story plus Bowser Jr's Journey that's coming out next year.
    Don't you people get the message Mario was killed by Ridley first and then Mega Man before Luigi was the next person to be killed. So get ahold of yourselves people Luigi is still alive and no we are not going to Luigi's funeral in the coming days now give us a different piece of news and show some fucking respect for Luigi he is still alive and he's got more upcoming games soon.

      The first stage of grief is denial...

        It's a bot. It has responded to every single post mentioning nintendo for the last year.

        I don't know why.

          He sounds like a bot, but the more I read, the more I'm convinced he is indeed a real person or at least a really damn good bot who has a thing against punctuation

            Oh man, I'm googling the name plus "kotaku" and the replies are fascinating.

    Luigi isn't dead. He still has 2 lives left.

    Last edited 09/08/18 1:55 pm

    Don't worry guys, Nintendo confirmed he's okay. But he doesn't look like it.

    Waluigi is Luigi's son?

      Depends how you look at it. He was created as "bad Luigi", so you could say he spawned from Luigi in a creative sense. In which case he's Luigi's spawn, i.e. his son.
      Or it's a small joke in a pile of satire. Take your pick.

    Why does Simon look like Conan the Barbarian?

    Last edited 09/08/18 5:06 pm

    Best day of my life, Luigi dead! You're days are numbered Mario!

    You thought it was death

    BUT IT WAS ME! WALUIGI!

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