The Internet Reacts To The New Silly iPhone Names

Photo: Justin Sullivan / Staff, Getty Images

Apple announced some new phones today, and they’ve got real silly names.

Every other year, like a curse, Apple released new models of the iPhone. This year’s are called the iPhone Xr, iPhone XS, and iPhone XS Max. These are baffling names, though I know once they’re in the wild I’ll be dying to have one. One issue I’ll probably have is saying the name of whichever model I choose.

While the “X” was pronounced as “ten” at the keynote, I can’t help but read these names as the “iPhone Excess” and “Excess Max.” They sound a little bit like the name of a fighting game or an anime. Is this the stupidest naming convention since the Xbox One X and Xbox One S? The internet seems to think so.

Todd Howard also showed up at the keynote to talk about Elder Scrolls: Blades, which was announced at E3 this year. He’ll just show up anywhere, at any time, it seems like. Glance over your shoulder—Todd Howard might just be waiting for you.

Let’s be real: the only reason why we’re making fun of these names is because a lot of us are going to buy them. Do you think I should get the Xr, or the XX Action Core Plus R?


Comments

    is because a lot of us are going to buy them.

    To my continual amazement.

      I know. The only reason I'm making fun is because I'm NOT going to be buying one.

        Who is buying one at those ridiculous prices anyway? I think even the most stalwart of iPhone fanboys will be having second thoughts about dropping up to $2300 on a phone, unless they just seriously have more dollars than sense.

          You just know there's going to be some gormless 17-year-old boy skipping school and waiting in line to be the first to throw his money at the Apple employees on launch day.

          This has to be the first time I've seen someone say "more dollars than sense" instead of "more money than sense".

            never heard anyone say "more money than sense". It's correctly "more dollars than sense", it's a play on words "More dollars then cents" gettit?

            Really? It's a pretty common phrase. It's a slight play on words (dollars and cents).

              I know, which is why I find it so perplexing that people always seem to say "more money than sense" instead. Phrased my comment bad, was trying to state amazement at finally seeing someone say it properly for a change :P

          I'm on a lease plan so I can get one for, effectively, no money down.

          It's nice.

      Which phone do you have?

        Rocking an S5. Still going strong!

          Each to their own but the S5 was the worst phone I had ever used and is what finally drove me back to an iPhone.

            Ahhh yeah. I text, I call, I Whatsapp. It manages those things pretty okay. I know I'm not representative of the average user though. It's probably also highly related to me getting old as f*ck and just not caring anymore. Back in the iPad2 launch days I was all aboard the hype train baby!

              I generally found it slow and battery horrible but breaking point was when it had major interop issues with my work software.
              Work requires the devices to be encrypted.
              That meant encrypting the SD card as well.
              If I turned the phone off when it cam back on it would fail to decrypt the SD card.
              No way around it. I would need to factory reset the device. Tried different SD cards, took it to repair same problem every time.
              I had issues with my previous phones (HTC Incredible S and Nexus 5) but that wast he final straw. Went back to apple and haven't had an issue since.
              But I know other people who love their android phones and never had a problem.

      I dunno why it's a surprise. They're a great quality and well-supported product, the price generally becomes significantly more affordable than the exploitative release prices after a reasonable period of time, and the iOS platform has huge developer engagement. The pros and cons of different device platforms don't result in a clear, objective 'best', but rather cater to different priorities.

        Well, my surprise is that it's a mature technology, receiving what most people would describe as iterative updates dressed up with fancy buzzwords, priced as premium technology, and yet treated by most as a fast turnover device. I'm not blaming or judging anyone, each to his or her own for sure, it just surprises me. I guess that's why Apple is the trillion dollar company and i'm the schmuck :P

          I think it's about expectactions. If we assumed that everyone was chasing the dragon, early-adopter fanatics, then it'd clearly not make a lot of sense to buy into such a high obsolesence system. But when you consider that the consumer will enter into the ecosystem at varying points, present and past, and that new releases can and will be ignored until years later, with various iterations skipped entirely, then every release simply becomes an expansion in the breadth of options.

          Last year's 'cutting edge' becomes just another viable option with price/speed/QoL etc trade-offs.

          (For what it's worth, my own phone is a 6S, which has served me very well, and continues to do so... I don't even really NEED an upgrade - I have noticed zero deficiencies - but the release of the latest models will coincide with the expiry of my carrier contract, and a price-drop in last year's models, so I might actually go with an upgrade.)

            Yeah, I'm still on a 5S, and I carry a camera with me and do a lot of photography. I started taking a lot of photos with the phone as well, and won a few competitions with the photos from the phone. I'm interested in the cameras on the newer phones, but for day to day usage, the 5S still does everything I need, so I'm going to wait yet one more cycle...

          I’ve certainly noticed many more people still in Apples ecosystem who hold out longer between upgrades or do shop around before upgrading these days though.

          I think the fanboy chasing the latest and greatest is less and less common, but there’s a lot of people who know their next phone will be an iPhone, whether it’s these or the next model or maybe the one after that.

          Personally I agree with @transientmind and feel like leaving the ecosystem with its dev support isn’t really worthwhile and it would take a major event to change that.

          However I am currently managing to keep my 6 going strong and would like to try get another year out if possible so there’s that.

        but it's cool to bag on Apple.

        For business though iOS all the way, MDM for iOS v Android is a dream.

    XS Max feels a clothes size designed to make fat people feel better about themselves.

    "No, it's not XXL it XS Max. It's just a really big extra small"

    Yeah I'm never going to pronnounce this phone as 10-es.
    Calling it the excess is just so deliciously appropriate.

    Last edited 13/09/18 11:07 am

    If Todd Howard came anywhere near this, I would expect an overpriced piece of **** and being told to enjoy it.

    I was laughing because the Xs, XsM and Xr all sound like stupid Tumblr gender pronouns.

    Looking forward to the iPhone Fatal1ty_ring-ring_oh_hi_mom xtreme-pro_l33t

    Good God the pricing on these things ...

    I like iOS but that's insanity.

    iphone XS = iphone tennis

    but we all know iphone excess is accurate.

    People won't actually pay the $1000+ (or up to AU$2400 here in Australia) for them as they just get them on contracts with their carrier. Most just suck up the $100+ a month cost of their plan or bill it to their company.
    Smart people pay $40/month for their mobile plan and buy the phone that works best for 1/2 or less

Join the discussion!

Trending Stories Right Now