What I Learned From Watching A Great Deal Of Overwatch Porn [NSFW]

Image: ArhoAngel

Last week, I stumbled upon Overwatch porn. I wasn’t looking for it — I know as much about Overwatch as I do about sports, cars, or how to talk to my parents about what I write — but it isn’t hard to stumble across porn when browsing the gigantic nudity repository that is the internet.

NSFW Warning: This post is so incredibly NSFW, even though I tried really hard to crop the images for minimum genitalia. FOLLOW THE LINKS AT YOUR OWN PERIL.

The first time I saw Overwatch, I assumed it was a Pixar trailer. Widowmaker and Reaper sparred with Winston, a cartoonish gorilla scientist, while Tracer zapped around in the background, giggling like a cockney kid in a candy store.

It was goofy, not sexy — the butts that would, over time, become polished and pert like glistening hams were just functional posteriors back then. Times were simpler.

I am less innocent now.

Gif: Bewyx, https://gfycat.com/IndolentQuaintButterfly

There were a few things that stood out to me while I browsed through the surprisingly broad selection of Overwatch porn.

Firstly, to absolutely no one’s surprise, the people doing the penetration in almost every video are headless, which is to say that they have the implication of a head, but they’re all cropped off.

Evidently, no one’s interested in the person who managed to get into Mercy’s panties, as long as they’re packing something big enough to put a permanent look of lusty worry on her face — you know, the one that says “oh dear, I think I can feel you brushing up against my lungs.”

Secondly, everyone in Overwatch is incredibly flexible. Legs over heads, backs arched like someone in dire need of a chiropractor, and the ever-popular tits-and-arse angle that movie posters love so much.

It’s hardly surprising that fictional CGI characters in porn are able to bend their bodies like sweaty sex-pretzels, but it makes me feel 90 years old. One particular clip featured Pharah being double penetrated, and I just couldn’t stop worrying about perineal tearing.

Gif: Yeero, https://i.imgur.com/E9u6Gvo.gifv

But thirdly — and most importantly — the quality is so very, very high.

My knowledge of video game-related porn extends about as far as that live-action Pokémon porn with the haunted Pikachu-Pennywise creature that doesn’t so much scream “sexy” as it does just regular screaming.

But Overwatch porn is a genre all of its own: Created by a small number of Patreon-funded animators who are able to recreate, in loving detail, what Mercy might look like if she was getting a sudsy dicking in the shower.

Overwatch porn — which is by no means the only type of video game porn of this quality that I found — is fully animated, usually about 10-30 seconds long, usually voice acted, with impressive audio design that captures all the gross body noises that might happen during sex.

Sure, the boobs might be overly jiggly, and some of the gasps of pleasure are a little too close to sobs, but the animation is amazing — subtle movements of flesh and hair, detailed fabric simulations, lifelike surfaces, realistic lighting.

Some of these animators are making almost $US6000 ($8289) a month on Patreon for their work, and I’m not surprised. Even if someone needs to tell them that buttholes aren’t usually that spacious.

Gif: Gnomfist, https://gfycat.com/dangerousinnocentcaracal

A large number of the Overwatch porn scenarios are pretty basic: Mercy giving a secret footjob in a fast food restaurant, D.Va putting an entire candy cane up her chimney, Widowmaker Snapchatting herself banging in the park — any variation on character, sex act and location, really.

But others take the character’s personality and preferences into account, such as D.Va in the arcade with her “favourite joystick” or Widowmaker deepthroating a baguette (apparently she’s French, which is one of the things I’d know if I’d ever played Overwatch).

I realise that many of you have probably heard of, or seen, Overwatch porn, and therefore to you this post might read like a toddler patiently explaining the nuances of using the Big Boy toilet to his parents. But, as someone who wasn’t really aware that 3D animated porn existed in such quality, quantity and specificity, I’m impressed — even if you, dear reader, are over it.

Gif: FPSBlyck, https://gfycat.com/BonyInfatuatedCarpenterant

Of course, it isn’t all sunshine and daisies in Overwatch porn-land. It has a lot of the same issues as the porn industry as a whole. Pharah always seems to be portrayed as far whiter than she is, Brigitte is heavily slimmed down, and there’s no sign of Zarya and very few videos involving Mei. It’s clear that the people making these videos are into a very specific, predominantly white, and almost always skinny version of women.

Why is that bad, if that’s what these creators and their audiences are into? Well, if the porn industry — and the game industry — showcases conventionally attractive, thin white women over all other body types, races, gender presentations and so on, that’s going to become the default for desirability.

That default, in turn, affects the self-esteem of people who don’t look like that, as well as the general consensus on what’s considered “hot”, which is to say, “acceptable”.

(Also, far too many of the models don’t have clitorises. Hoo boy.)

Fun fact: there’s a dildo in this picture. (Gif: Bewyx, https://gfycat.com/evergreenpresentekaltadeta)

There’s also a fair bit of really nasty homophobia and transphobia that I found amongst some of the creators of Overwatch videos. Apart from how bigoted and wrong it is to be like that in the modern day, it’s always dismaying to see porn dominated by arseholes in more than one way. Straight men aren’t your only audience, you know.

There is, of course, a conversation to be had about the sinister nature of photorealistic CGI porn. In an age where we can recreate Grand Moff Tarkin and get rid of Henry Cavill’s moustache, it doesn’t take a genius to know the road we’re heading down — and we may already be there with the rise of deepfakes.

Let’s just hope people stick to fantasy characters for as long as possible.


Comments

    I think I can feel you brushing up against my lungs, Ha!!

    Yeah, not a fan myself but the shit is literally everywhere.
    The quality is bloody amazing though, a testament to both the graphical power of the PC and peoples motivation to whack off to stuff.

    Well, if the porn industry — and the game industry — showcases conventionally attractive, thin white women over all other body types, races, gender presentations and so on, that’s going to become the default for desirability.It already is - and has been - for a while now. This is about sexual desire and preference, where people will find what they find attractive, and it's none of your business to dictate to them what they should produce or find attractive. Are we seriously trying to 'diversify' sexual attraction now?

    There's a valid argument that particular demographics are under-served by pornography artists - because they are, and that's disappointing. But suggesting it's harmful to make pornography that is catering to a particular mainstream sexual preference is a long bow to draw and comes dangerously close to calling mainstream sexuality and anything that caters to it somehow problematic.

      have you seen all the categories on pornhub?? If you’re seeing skinny white women it’s because it’s what you’re looking for. You can find Anything (bar bestiality & CP) But There is definitely something for everyone! There are many things in this world that can be accused of not being diverse enough, but porn certainly is not one of them.

    US$6 grand a month? I wish I could get that making the characters that they get naked.

    Last edited 03/02/19 11:15 pm

    *shrugs*
    I didn't have any problems with the article.
    It was an interesting read.

      Most of the article is okay. Its the moral posturing towards the end that's moronic.

      Same. I found it quite interesting.

      I don't agree with everything written, but hey, I'm not supposed just read things that I agree with, particularly.

    So, here's the thing about non-real porn.
    The people who make it, make what they want to fap to. It's as simple as that.
    Most of their preferences are pretty obvious, and you're going to see a lot of Widow, Mercy, Tracer and D.VA amongst other things.
    A lot of guys who make this stuff? Yeah, they aren't in to gay content. There is no mystery behind that. A straight guy making straight porn? My gods! How utterly bizarre!
    It's just like for a lot of these creators, large people aren't on their interest list.

    So are you going to see a lot of straight, white couplings? Yes. Yes you are, unless one of those creators has certain preferences or kinks, you're going to see a lot of vanilla. Outright.

    Honestly, if someone doesn't like that? They're absolutely free to make something different themselves. Who knows, maybe they'll tap an interested market. But merely complaining about it? Just ridiculous.

    Author, it's as simple as this: If you don't like what you saw, make your own. If you don't know how? Pick up software and start learning to rig and animate your own content, or even see if you can find pre-rigged content to animate. Pretty sure most of these creators rip the models straight from the game anyway.

    Maybe it’s a good thing if this sort of pornography becomes more widespread. At least it is created by technicians without the corruption, violence, coercion, drugs and degradation often associated with the real life stuff.

      That's an interesting point. And to that point on the other end of that industry is a consumer who probably doesn't really have full control of what particular fetish they are attracted to. So if you can cater to some fetish or another without real people having to make it (best case scenario, I'm sure porn stars have to do a hell of a lot of things they aren't into even if they aren't being exploited) it can be seen as a good thing.

    @alexwalker What part of my comment broke the community guidelines warranting a deletion?

    My comment was respectful and did not attack the author in an unfair fashion. Id like a justification or I will repost the comment.

      We have a long standing rule in the guidelines about not attacking authors, and accusing a writer whose entire beat revolves around covering sex in games and the NSFW scene as having an agenda against porn and the industry falls squarely into that territory. That's her interest and it's what she covers. Someone wouldn't be assigned to cover porn if they had a personal distaste of it.

      The rest of your take I disagree with - there's almost 20 paragraphs covering the porn, characters, scenes and general existence of Overwatch porn and you wouldn't know any of that existed from your comment. It's a super reductive response, and Kate didn't outwardly say people should have preferences forced upon them - only that there is a broader benefit to having more diversity in NSFW content, both from a wider audience perspective (someone made the point on Twitter that the majority of porn users people don't care, so there's no need to go and do things like change Pharah's skin tone, or make Brigitte skinnier than she normally is) and an individual perspective (people from different backgrounds seeing more people like themselves represented in this content, but this comment section isn't the place to play out that whole argument, and there's more learned people than me who have studied this area of pop culture and society who can make that case).

      But if you really want to have a conversation about that, repost it and it'll be fine. I think the intent and spirit of the article is miles off from how you've responded, but that happens every day and there's nothing wrong with it.

      Also re. the homophobic/transphobic stuff - there's a very careful line that has to be threaded there. Kate can post more screenshots and evidence to back up her point, but then she (and the site) would also be open to the charge of giving that content a much bigger platform than it deserves. Just one of those things we have to be conscious of from time to time that might not always be apparent from the reader's side.

      Anyway, hope that gives you an idea of where I was coming from. An alternative would be for me to edit the content out so your comment is left in place (along with all the child comments) - but I think that's a super risky slippery slope for users, so unfortunately remove/not remove is the only choice available.

        Thank you for the reply, Alex.

        I can see where you are coming from. I don't agree with it all necessarily but i see your point.

        In future feel free to email me on the address attached to my account so we don't have to do this on kotaku comments.

          Sure thing. I don't mind having this in the open though - it's in good faith and it at least helps try to maintain a good discourse, which is always worth protecting.

        Much as I appreciate seeing a mod even bothering to clarify their actions, I'd have to say I still absolutely think the "you were attacking the author" reasoning gets applied real damn loosely around here.

        But that's just my two cents that nobody asked for.

    Well, if the porn industry — and the game industry — showcases conventionally attractive, thin white women over all other body types, races, gender presentations and so on, that’s going to become the default for desirability.

    A lot of this porn is commissioned fyi. Commisioned stuff isn't designed for a wider audience. It's really just capitalism: there isn't much Zarya stuff because the dudes paying for these commisions aren't asking for it.

      To be clear, it's good to want representation and diverse people and body types but those people commissioning the stuff are doing it to fulfill a particular preference/fetish/scenario. And sadly no matter how conscious someone might be of wanting to support diversity I've not met a person who has conscious control of what they are fundamentally sexually attracted to.

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