Sonic the Hedgehog doesn’t look promising. But it definitely has room to look… stranger.
Here’s the thing: the internet, channeling the capability of computers to create things that don’t look like real life at all, are excellent at producing creepy stuff.
Stuff like surreal entertainment’s Improved Trailer for Sonic the Hedgehog, which takes the basic idea of, uh, Sonic the Hedgehog existing, and turns it into something that feels like it was produced by an unfeeling AI on its quest to understand, and then eradicate, humanity via pop culture.
“I am speed,” declares a cameo character at the end of the trailer, with the same tone of voice as Lucifer will declare the end of all things. This trailer reminds me of the Sonic Dreams Collection, which turns the internet’s weirdest fantasies about Sega’s erstwhile mascot into one of the strangest fan-made video games you’ll ever encounter.
If they have to make a Sonic movie, I’d rather watch this one: a pure dollop of internet horror, all of our worst imaginations about Sonic in one crudely made CG disaster. If you dug it, check out surreal entertainment’s channel, where they have mastered a particular register of internet unreality.