The U.S. is currently enjoying a barmy summer and you know what that means: Blizzard has made yet another Overwatch character hot. Also, Lucioball is back for the fourth year in a row. Between those two things, it’s unsurprising that it’s Hanzo “Hotzo” Shimada who’s the talk of the balmy beach town right now.
Today, Blizzard surprise- (well, sorta-surprise-) launched Overwatch’s annual Summer Games event a little bit earlier than usual. Despite innumerable clamors for a shake-up, it’s still pretty much the same it’s been since 2015, with the soccer-like Lucioball mode taking center stage.
But there are also new skins, and Hanzo’s puts a new spin on a familiar dynamic, which I’ve eloquently titled “doofy dad man hot now???” Typically clad in poofy pajamas with a spacious nipple window, Hanzo has now donned slick swimwear inspired by a classic Japanese print and a vest that frees his abs from their wrinkly fabric prison.
Samurai dad is once again samurai daddy, and all is right with the world. Fans are celebrating in the traditional way: by being extremely thirsty on main.
i want hanzo to run me over with his car, then use my crumpled corpse to wipe his car and after use me to avoid puddles in the streets pic.twitter.com/88meFcs1F3
— ali????️ (@HANZ0SHITMADA) July 16, 2019
I love you forever
I love you for always
As long as I’m living
My baby you’ll be pic.twitter.com/oGPi1G7Zcr— en sabah nerd (@TiniHoward) July 16, 2019
Shirtless hanzo Shirtless hanzo shirtless hanzo shirtless hanzo shirtless hanzo pic.twitter.com/rQ6FuAndaZ
— *Goths Harder* ???? (@GaysInSpaacee) July 16, 2019
hanzo really has two modes: Full Traditional Japanese wear, and Douchebag Gym Rat MBA Dudebro
— ????let’s go cowboys???? (@DesLaMoto) July 16, 2019
me: fuck hanzo
also me: fuck, hanzo— neo-spacian aqua dolfosaur (@dilfosaur) July 16, 2019
hanzo’s shoes are croc-adjacent and frankly that’s valid pic.twitter.com/Du2D6znJqP
— sen ???????? (@sen_ebooks) July 16, 2019
me: man I think im losing touch with hanzo lately I cant really play him anymore
blizzard:
me: pic.twitter.com/awvn1p0Euy
— ledi zeppelin⚡@THOR 4 AND SUMMER GAMES HYPE (@lediabledusud) July 16, 2019
late night hanzo sketches to celebrate the occasion,, pic.twitter.com/5dIc7yJIUl
— juliet ???? ???? | COMMISSIONS OPEN (@nekodoruBox) July 16, 2019
Time to drag out some vintage art of the set we all know hanzo also has pic.twitter.com/mHYxlZhJbI
— Suzanne ????✨ (@tendermiasma) July 16, 2019
YAY the new hanzo skin!! ✨✨✨ pic.twitter.com/rMR0Ba64nR
— リペカ (@l1p3k4) July 16, 2019
Hanzo missed leg day completely pic.twitter.com/fj9iGUXQvH
— ???????? siggy is @metrocon AAG7 ???????? (@siggykuu) July 16, 2019
But Hanzo’s not the only one who’s ready to both hit the beach and ruthlessly strike down all who dare oppose him this year. Torbjorn’s poolside duds are much more whimsical and, I would argue, better for it. He’s got a sandcastle backpack, an inflatable pool toy mallet, and a seashell-speckled beard. This, too, has inspired a whole host of fan reactions:
Allow me to introduce the greatest skin in the history of Overwatch pic.twitter.com/n7j8cgJOuc
— Stylosa (@Stylosa) July 16, 2019
torbjorn could pick me up by my feet and swing me like a hammer pic.twitter.com/7wwrClHIJp
— its not fortnite dammit (@grimdispute) July 16, 2019
torbjorn is……nakey………
???????? pic.twitter.com/8XNrU2UOum
— Cool gamer Krook (@TheMasterKrook) July 16, 2019
Torbjorn’s new hammer (usually) sounds inflatable and occasionally squeaks. pic.twitter.com/F1ycCJ9qsF
— Overbuff (@Overbuff) July 16, 2019
new summer skin torbjorn in Overwatch using hammer only pic.twitter.com/ykfVIpraMq
— DeSensed (@DeSensed) July 16, 2019
honestly the torbjorn skin exemplifies the kind of creativity and playfulness i wish we could see from blizzard more than once per event. the sand castle towers! the starfish in his beard! the rubber squeaky hammer! it’s whimsical, it’s fun, and it’s what we need more of
— cheesed burger (@tanklesbian) July 16, 2019
Me, waiting on shirtless skins for Soldier 76 and Baptiste while some rando horny for Torbjorn and Hanzo is getting their due. pic.twitter.com/nLkWCofp2g
— Kenneth Shepard (@shepardcdr) July 16, 2019
Can’t wait until next year, when Blizzard will probably celebrate Lucioball’s five-year anniversary by putting the ball in a swimsuit and giving it abs.
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