Ever find that weddings were just a little too … wholesome? Well, now you can spice them up with a bit of Duke Nukem.
John St. John, the voice actor for Duke Nukem throughout the entire series, announced on Twitter early Friday that he has become a legally ordained minister. In short: you can have your wedding officiated by Duke Nukem.
I am now an ordained minister and will be performing my first wedding ceremony this Saturday. So yes, you can get married by Duke Nukem pic.twitter.com/ud6gF3lXhr
— Jon St. John (@JSJisDuke) August 29, 2019
Duke also confirmed that he’d officiate weddings as Big the Cat, if people really wanted, and he was more than happy to officiate same-sex marriages if asked.
I can do that????
— Jon St. John (@JSJisDuke) August 29, 2019
of course…what's the difference?
— Jon St. John (@JSJisDuke) August 29, 2019
But the true joy here lies in the memes, which the internet was all too happy to run with.
You may now kick ass and kiss the bride
— Joey (@Scrungo808) August 29, 2019
"If anyone has any objections, may bend over and kiss his ass goodbye."
— ???? Jonno Gibb ???? (@UlsterDoggo) August 29, 2019
For real though, congratulations and good luck with the ceremony!
And then get some.
— Marlon Rando (@jda2000) August 29, 2019
"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you dead and dying. You may now kiss my ass."
— Johnathan Chaney (@JC97MrBootleg) August 30, 2019
"And do you, Duke Nukem, take this weapon to have and to hold? In sickness and in health? I do…"
– Reverend Nukem, 2019.
"If anyone objects to this union, speak up now or forever hold your peace"
— Working Penguin (@Purppenguins) August 29, 2019
"I object!"
"BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!"
What a wholesome turn of events to end the week on.
Duke: “I now pronounce you husband and wife, I may kiss the bride”
Groom: “Huh? What the hell, Duke?!….Karen!!”
Bride: “Hail to the King baby!”
Sounds about right. Wouldn’t surprise me if a condition of getting married by Duke Nukem is that he claims the right of primae noctis.