Remember Dream Daddy? Now imagine that, but the only daddy that matters has a big white beard and he is super keen to show you his fried chicken.
Due out on September 24 and developed by Psyop (makers of the interactive fiction Camp W) the game's called I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator. And in case you're in any doubt as to what kind of direction KFC is going with this, allow me to demonstrate:
The official description — apart from doubling down on the fact that, yes, this is officially backed by KFC — notes that the game has secret recipes, a secret ending, cooking battles, battle battles (?), and, yes, the only thing anyone cares about: you can date Colonel Sanders. Doesn't mention whether you can fuck Colonel Sanders, but I'm sure modders will rectify that oversight if KFC doesn't allow it. Surely they know it's coming.
Ship away, people. Who's shipping the beard? And how long before this gets rule 34'd?