I Want To Shoot Ms. Monopoly Into The Sun [Updated]

Look at her. Look at that shit-eating grin. She's a big fat cheater and she's loving it.

In the latest performative wokeness stunt from a big corporate brand, Hasbro has unveiled its latest Monopoly edition: Ms. Monopoly.

Its goal? To celebrate women trailblazers. Great! Women deserve to be celebrated just as much as men. If the recent 'Forbes listing only one woman on their list of 100 innovators' snafu is anything to go by, women need more recognition. After all, women invented the world's first computer program, windscreen wipers, kevlar, the dishwasher — heck, they invented half of maths.

They discovered radiation, dark matter and nuclear fission. They've conquered mountains and oceans and even the Australian government. Women are great — I would know; I am one. And how does Hasbro celebrate these world-changing trailblazers?

By telling them they can't win at Monopoly without cheating.

In Ms. Monopoly, out this November, "women receive 20 per cent more Monopoly Dollars when they pass GO than men – a fun spin in the game that creates a world where women have an advantage." That's according to the official press release, which, to be honest, is the most patronising bullgarbage I've seen in a long time.

One might argue that it's a tongue-in-cheek way of poking fun at the historic inequality faced by women — specifically, women in business — but I don't think it's been very well thought-out or considered. As even my own track record proves, women are perfectly capable of winning at Monopoly without having an unfair advantage. What's more, the whole gimmick cheapens what would have been a pretty cool set. As I said earlier, women deserve to be celebrated, but a board game that turns them into straight up cheaters as a 'symbolic gesture'?

It's a no from me.

Update 12:03pm 12/09/19: Kotaku Australia was provided with the following statement from Jen Boswinkel, Senior Director, Global Brand Strategy and Marketing at Hasbro:

Ms. Monopoly is a fun spin on the classic Monopoly game with the goal of recognizing the many contributions, products and technologies made possible by women throughout history.

While the game first and foremost celebrates the accomplishments of female entrepreneurs, there are also game pieces designed to create conversation around gender equality and reward the important role men play in supporting female empowerment. Ultimately, we believe the game and its content embodies a positive message that we hope is embraced by a wide variety of audiences.

With Ms. Monopoly, we are celebrating trailblazing female inventors and entrepreneurs who’ve made breakthrough contributions to our society across a spectrum of sectors. The game highlights a variety of inventions and innovations – from game-changing household and fashion items, to advances in science and technology. All of the inventions we feature are important in their own right because each has improved our overall way of life. And we hope all of them inspire aspiring inventors who play our game to bring their own dreams to life.

It's still a no from me.


Comments

    Sounds almost as bad as that wilfully and grotesquely ignorant capitalist-propaganda-bullshit 'socialist monopoly' garbage.

    They really are the worst people over at Hasbro.

      Monopoly is the worst board game and nothing they ever try is going to change that

        Not wrong. It's amazing really, Ihave a bookcase full of some of the best board/card games of the past few years and anytime I try to break them out there's always at least one person that "only likes to play monopoly".

          That's when you tell them to get out.

        I'm pretty sure it was designed that way on purpose, though.
        The original version of the game (which was created by a woman, funnily enough) was meant to be an example of how monopolies and concentration of capital result in inherently unfair systems. It was *meant* to be inherently unfair and unfun.

        Then someone had the amazing idea of turning it into a commercial board game.

          Ironic that it's been diluted into this garbage since, huh?

      It's crazy how polarised many have come to the subject of the capitalism and socialism due to propaganda.
      It's become an argument of extremes rather than one of balance.
      (Funny how everything works that way at the moment)

        Yeah, 10 years ago nobody spoke in terms of left and right, now every political idea is talked in these terms where you are expected to pick a side. It's almost as if the powers that be want us actively bickering about what side we are on instead of looking at issues objectively and denouncing the blatant corruption going on. We are being played.

        To be fair though Monopoly has always been polarised as 'mega capitalist arsehole simulator'. That was the entire point of it in its original incarnation as 'The Landlord Game'. It's a parody of extreme capitalism... not that edgelord anarcho-socialists waving their red flags would understand that.

        What's interesting is that if you study anything on the concepts of social democracy and neoliberalism, you'll soon realise that both the right and the left borrow elements from each other. It's just about how much it sways from one side to the other but there are fundamental principles of both the right and left built into our system.

        I mean, capitalism is wrong. There's really no other way to frame that particular chestnut.

    This must surely be a parody too.
    And perhaps this is just a marketing ploy to get Monopoly discussed on media - Kotaku just ran a story and now we're talking about Monopoly. It reminds me of this stem-cell quack being interviewed by a sceptic who basically said "even if you say this is unscientific you will still get me more customers."

    That’s okay. I identify as female characters when I play games, from FFXI to WoW and FemShep, so I’ll happily take the bonus.

    PS. It’s not ’cheating’ it’s ‘positive discrimination’.

      Or just regular discrimination but against men.

      I agree with Leah, this very of monopoly is dumb and sends the wrong message.

      I also agree that women are awesome and should be celebrated.

    it's about time someone conquered the Australian government. A few heads on pikes should do wonders for the country.

    Monopoly was designed by a woman to demonstrate how utterly terrible capitalism is. Pity they turned that into this shit.

      It was the inferior version. It's okay, the Man "invented" this version.

        Literal dog shit is superior to monopoly. It fails on every level as a board game. Its one saving grace is a relentless advertising campaign backed by big money.

      Monopoly was designed by a woman to demonstrate how utterly terrible capitalism can be.

      Economically we live in the best time in human history. There are less people in poverty now than any time in history. If you look at where the true poverty is it's all the socialist/communist countries.

      Now that not to say Capitalism doesn't have flaws because it does. It requires moral people to make moral decisions, and people are corrupt. That said capitalism is the best of any system devised so far.

        This is not a conversation to have in a video game comments section. It's incredibly complicated. But I'm going to do it anyway, i guess?

        Any communist/socialist country you care to name is either a fascist military regime pretending to be communist, or a country that has been purposefully destabilised by capitalist countries. Hell, any modern capitalist country you care to name isn't actually a free market capitalist society. It's a protectionist oligarchy built loosely on capitalistic principles. So realistically, we have never actually seen how a truly communist or free-market capitalist society in action. We can extrapolate how each would work to some extent, though and although neither would be perfect, one of those is philosophically based in empathy and our duty to each other while the other is philosophically based in accumulating wealth with zero care for the human cost. If you care about people, it's to see that if we're going to experiment with either of them, one is objectively going to hurt more people.

        There's also a common sense of correlation being causation when we talk about these things. We are doing better than we ever have and we are in a capitalistic(ish) system, therefore capitalism caused it. While it's true that capitalism pushed innovation in a lot of places over the last century or two, it has also stifled a lot through protectionism, espionage, and violent proselytising. It's also destroying the earth. Rapidly. A system that requires consumption for the sake of consumption and exponential growth forever is by definition untenable long term. We don't have infinite resources.

        Back to Monopoly specifically, the original game was The Landlord Game and it was designed to show people why a few people owning many houses for investment is a system hardwired to increase human suffering. It does a very good job of that, which is why it's not a fun game. If you think that we all have a duty to help (or at least not hinder) each other's chances at leading good lives, a system designed to give one person limitless wealth and stability at the cost of a dozen others is a dereliction of that duty.

    How cringy is that cover art though? In Monopoly we have the royalty, old school looking monopoly man and apparently the female counterpart is someone that looks like they would pay $13 for a coffee with four types of milk while out power walking.

    So they *really* screwed up here. Monopoly was the great uniter in terms of boardgames. It didn't *care* what gender you were, didn't care about colour, sex, race, anything.

    This feels so poorly thought out. Are they saying women can only get by with a little help? Are they saying that if a man wins, then the woman clearly cannot manage her money? Are they saying that if the woman wins, then the man clearly only lost because he was discriminated against? What on earth is the point of this version? It feels like this was trying to convey a social message of good will, but only after they'd smoked a metric shit ton of crack and downed a couple of litres of alcohol in the process...

      I agree on all points.

    Hooray! Let's fight sexism by adding more sexism! Lets push a narrative of false economics where women do not get paid the same as men!

    I'm more surprised that with so many Monopoly variations out there for many years, it's only NOW there's a Monopoly for women?

    Ah people are finally figuring it out.

      Get woke, go broke.

        Like the author said, this is cynical, performative wokeness.

        Now ask yourself, why does a big corporation feel the need to perform wokeness and invest money into putting such a product on the street?

        Because wokeness, real or fake, sells. They're big, canny capitalists, they have market researchers telling them this.

        "Go woke, get broke" is a chant from bigots to justify harassing, boycotting and threatening "woke" people, products or services and celebrate when they are successful.

    Love that heading, "The First Game Where Women Make More Than Men"

    *Bubsy voice* What could possibly go wrong?

    Yikes, and I though "Millennial" Monopoly was the lowest they could go

    firstly, i dont have any issue getting paid the same for the same job. But this has become a twisted issue. The allegation of gender discrimination has been well documented and then objectively refuted in OECD countries. But some companies who try to play to this market like Gillette fell victim to the gender politics trap and paid dearly literally. Hasboro has fallen for it to.. Can't we just all play nice, and get on with the game ??!?!?!

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