The internet loves making all sorts of weird shit, but Untitled Goose Game fanfics and crossovers might be the most wholesome nonsense of the year.
There’s no shortage of people paying homage to The Goose wherever you look. Government employees have been walking around the game developer’s conference this week with giant Goose pins. People are cosplaying at The Goose for cons and parties. There’s a banger collection of fan art and shop jobs of The Goose in Zelda, Xenoblade Chronicles, and obviously Smash.
And I’m here for that, I truly am. But let’s take it up a notch.
That’s right: it’s Goose Game x Dangaronpa fanfic time. An author called FierySprites has put together several thousand words mashing together Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony with our affable avian overlord, illustrating the Danganronpa V3 characters as they move through the academy only to discover that The Goose is a bit busy flogging everything in sight.
You can enjoy the bizarre creation in its full glory here, but to help you along the way, please enjoy this delightfully short excerpt illustrating the unbridled joy of The Goose fucking up other franchises instead of small villages:
Her Ultimate Research Lab was utterly tarnished: music stands and chairs were knocked down; DVDs from the shelves lay scattered on the floor; a mocking message (depicting Kaede being chased by a flock of geese … on bicycles. Bicycles!) had been written on the blackboard; and worse of all… worse of all…!
… the goose from this morning was atop her beloved piano, strutting all over the piano keys as if it owned it — and the room itself. An incredibly out-of-tune melody played whenever he took a step, practically driving Kaede insane with its increasing terribleness.
The goose fluttered off the instrument and ran all the way to the back of the room. The Pianist, much like Shuichi, was prepared to go running after it — only to stop in horror at what the goose had done to the piano.
Several keys had been taken out.
Repeat: Several. Keys. Had been taken out.
In fact, the goose inexplicably had a bag slung over his back. Three guesses as to what was inside it, and the first two don’t count.
The whole of “It’s a Lovely Morning at the Ultimate Academy” is over at Fanfiction.net. I hope it spawns more terrible, terrible fanfic mischief, as long as we don’t go down too far down the shipping road. Although surely there’s some lovely tales to be told about The Goose going on a date or two with that adorable red bow.