The latest Red Dead Online update added a whole career path for players. You can now open up a moonshine shack and start making and selling illegal booze. You can create different strengths and flavours of booze. But no matter what you make, one NPC will always be interested in your shine. Mr. Bert Higgins.
How moonshine production works in Red Dead Online is you tell your shine chef to start making up a batch. You then pick a flavour using different ingredients you might have, like apples or mint leaves. These different flavours are wanted by different folks. But the key is these people will only wait so long. After a few hours, the market will shift. So maybe Mary Sue down in Armadillo wanted some Wintergreen moonshine earlier in the day, but too much time has passed and now she and nobody else wants it.
Except for old Bert Higgins.
The thing about Bert is he ain’t a picky man. No matter what you make, regardless of flavour or quality, he will always be ready to buy some of your booze. Now he won’t pay top dollar, usually, you make little money selling to him. But he’s always there for you. Mr. Reliable. Which is why I love Bert.
Sometimes I get distracted doing other things in Red Dead Online. Sometimes I have to leave and do some work or whatever. So I might fail to sell my moonshine in time or I might even forget to flavour it. While the other residents of Red Dead Online might choose to ignore my hard work, Bert is always there, ready to buy any new booze I create.
I do worry about Bert Higgins.
The man is drinking a lot of shine and some it isn’t very good. I hope Bert is running a bar or something like that. It would be devastating to find out his wife died or his kids don’t talk to him anymore. I don’t want to imagine Bert is lonely, sitting awake all night in some dirt shack, drinking shitty booze. But based on his image in the game, that’s probably closer to the truth.
I searched around the web and couldn’t find anyone else singing the praises of Bert. It seems to most others he is just a part of the system and nobody questions him or his love of booze. I can’t even find a random post or Wiki page about him. This photo, his name and his love of moonshine is all we know about Bert.
Bert has the face of a man who ain’t really bothered too much by what his booze taste like, so long as it is potent and gets him drunk. Bert, I hope for your sake you can break out of this cycle and live your life sober one day.
Just not right away. I got some crappy moonshine no one else wants and I need to sell it to you. Thanks.