This Jigglypuff Bluetooth Speaker Is Cursed

jigglypuff bluetooth speaker whyImage: FCC

Imagine going into work and being told, you need to take some photos of a new product and test it for emissions. "Sure thing, what am I shooting," you might ask. "A Jigglypuff speaker."

That's what ThinkGeek have in the works, courtesy of an filing spotted by Verge and some adorable (or slightly creepy) shots published by the FCC.

Image: FCC

It's like a scene from Control: Jigglypuff has become an Object of Power and is destined to spend the rest of eternity locked up, where its song can do no harm. Which is probably fair, because if I got this thing in the wild I'd blast the shittest tunes imaginable just because it's funny to think about happy hardcore coming out of Jigglypuff's mouth.

The filings state that the novelty speaker will have a 3.5mm headphone jack and Bluetooth 5.0, and the photos reveal that it'll charge over micro-USB rather than the increasingly common and more convenient USB-C.

Funnily enough, the speaker is actually the same one being sold by EB Games. It's available from April 1 for $58, although speakers like these usually sound like arse. But hey! If you want a novelty gag for whatever reason, or just want to creepily have Jigglypuff hang out in a room by itself, you can do that.

Image: FCC

Thank God this isn't an alarm clock. I owned one of those - well, was forcibly given - and I fucking hated that thing.


Comments

    I thought ThinkGeek was dead.

    They always did have the best April 1 products...

      They're owned by Gamestop, so they soon will be dead.

    Greetings, staff of the Federal Bureau of Control. Please make sure this missive reaches your Director, Jesse Faden IMMEDIATELY.
    I am *REDACTED* from The SCP Foundation. Sadly your recent antics have demanded our attention. While your *ahem* 'help' has been appreciated occasionally, we can no longer tolerate your frankly amateur and often disastrous attempts at managing esoteric phenomena. Glaringly poor safety measures have recently been brought to our attention (the latest in a very long list of questionable decisions and actions, including that debacle with the Hist recently, which we debated intensely whether to intervene or observe, depending on the success of your newly "promoted" Director Faden ). The event we speak of is the dangerous lack of knowledge and skill which you have displayed recently while inadequately containing a volatile and malevolent species of cryptid (a Keter level threat, for God's sake! A Goddamned Jigglypuff, of all things!) and worse- having it on display on a public website. This we consider to be your final and most irresponsible error in judgement yet. Correspondingly, we have, by unanimous vote by the board of Overseers, declared the end of our patience with your Bureu's childish attempts at doing OUR job, compounded by the most clueless US govermental oversight and interference ever witnessed in both our organization's histories.
    Multiple Containment and Enforcement teams are an route to your facility. All staff are to cease any and all projects and have all digital and hardcopy documentation ready for collection. The NSC Power Plant, all departments and most importantly the Panopticon shall be FULLY ACCESSIBLE upon the arrival of SCP staff. All "Altered Items" and all "Objects of Power" (cute names, btw) shall be made ready for cataloguing, safe removal (where possible) and transfer of command to SCP staff. The entire Bureau of Control headquarters , aka The Oldest House, is to be on full lockdown. No entry or exit (to this or any other dimensional planes) is permitted til the arrival of the assigned SCP Tactical Command Unit. All other FBC facilities, labs and sites affiliated with FBC, notably The Overlook Hotel, Black Rock Quarry and Ordinary, Wisconsin have already been under SCP command for various periods of time (Don't ask how. We're good at this) and communications between The Oldest House and all secondary sites have actually been with an a SCP Psy-Ops team for quite some time now. Your agents and researchers are all safely detained and shall remain so as long as you cooperate. Perhaps, given certain conditions, they may even be released from our custody upon completion of interrogations and mandatory erasure of short (and possibly long) term memories. We apologize for the deception and apparent hostility, but as long as you surrender any and all assets in a speedy and cooperative manner, no FBC staff shall come to any (physical) harm.
    NOTE: Should resistance be given, Enforcer teams are ready to terminate with maximum prejudice. Any survivors shall be detained and inducted into the rank of D Class.
    Finally, Director Jesse Faden shall be ready to meet SCP Tactical, Aquisition and Command Units upon arrival @ 1900 hrs this evening. That cute little sidearm of hers is to remain holstered, or the Bureau will discover what interesting gadgets we have available. We request Me Faden's assistance in this operation, but it is by no means a necessity should we have to neutralize any threat she or any other staff of any rank may pose, even including the janitor (wink, wink). We look forward to a peaceful meeting and restructuring of your division, for the well being of all concerned.
    Sincerely, SCP Agent *REDACTED *

    It's available from April 1 for $58

    I will believe it when I see it, it has been pushed over and over again, several times from release.

    Was meant to come out mid last year IIRC, got delayed and delayed (even got an email saying it was coming and it never did)

    No idea why, but its stuck on my pre-order list on the EB Website for awhile now.

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