Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a ton of Pokemon, but I do enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So, Here’s Another Pokemon! It’s Accelgor!
Average Height: 2′ 07″
Average Weight: 25 kg
First Added In Generation V
I might have to be careful, legally speaking, during this entry of Here’s Another Pokemon. I don’t want to anger Tom Cruise and his weird, cultish religion that has used its influence to do bad things to people around the world and avoids laws in multiple countries. Ah, crap. Quick, let’s get to the Pokemon part of this thing. Accelgor! Why is it the Tom Cruise of the Pokemon world? Well, keep reading and have some patience.
Accelgor is strange looking bug Pokemon that appears to be wearing a helmet and likes to cross its arms a lot as if it’s some sort of cool guy. And, according to Bulbapedia, it is! You see, in the world of Pokemon, Accelgor is often made the star of movies or comics to help increase the popularity of these products. So if you have a crappy movie script, stick this thing in it and you might have a box office hit on your hands.
Another thing Accelgor and Tom Cruise have in common: They both like to run. Well, Accelgor doesn’t have legs, so it’s not really running. More like sliding or slithering. Still, whatever you call it, Accelgor does it extremely fast, be likened to a ninja. I’m starting to see why folks like going to movies that star this bug. They seem exciting!
It has to be careful to not dry out though, so it wraps its body up in layers of protective membranes. Again, another thing Tom Cruise and Accelgor have in common.
Favourite Fan Art
This is a classic technique to make something look quick: BLUR IT! Another option for less-skilled artists or those without Photoshop: Add some speed lines!
- The reason this Pokemon is so fast is that it used to have a shell and now without that shell, it is lighter and quicker!
- You would think it would be happy to not have a shell weighing it down anymore, but this isn’t the case. In fact, the reason it always seems pouting and has its arms crossed is that it feels miserable over its missing shell.
- Accelgor also went on Oprah’s show years ago and professed its love for Katie Holmes. Just like Tom Cruise. (Weirdly, Bulbapedia doesn’t have this fact anywhere on Accelgor’s page.)
Best Comment From Last Week
Chatot: “Yeah, sure I got a human tongue. It’s in the back. Got a couple of livers, a kidney or two, and almost a full set of toes for the right foot. Why? You buying?”
Chatot, if you keep this up you are going to end up on one of the 3o,000 true crime podcasts that just launched this month.