Crusader Kings III Patches Are Already Works Of Art

Crusader Kings III Patches Are Already Works Of Art
Illustration: Crusader Kings III

Crusader Kings II had the best patches, so its sequel Crusader Kings III has a lot to live up to. It’s off to a good start though, with its first update today full of welcome changes both big and small.

Here, for your pleasure, are some highlights:

You can no longer attempt to find dead people’s secrets

You can no longer be tortured to confess a secret you don’t know

You can no longer remove your vassal’s guardians all nilly willy

You can no longer lose a friend you didn’t have

You will no longer be stressed out if a spouse you dislike dies

The Pope can no longer publicly accept cannibalism

Svend II of Denmark now spawns as either bisexual or heterosexual

Sneaky people will now wear sneaky clothes

Children can no longer start a literalist debate

I love this game so much.

A couple of things in particular are worth pointing out though. Firstly, anyone dabbling in the dark arts can now hold the “Dark Rite” event, which hasn’t been working since launch, and secondly there are now more things for modders to play with, which is always nice.

Also, if you decide to read the full list and don’t really know what all these changes may actually mean, there’s a handy explainer on the game’s Reddit, which turns:

Discouraged the AI from doing naval invasions when land invasions are feasible

Into:

The AI should no longer decide in the middle of a war that a boat trip would be fun when the wargoal is like a kilometre away by land

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